My Addiction With Heroin
I first tried heroin at a mates flat at 19yrs old!!I am now 24.
I was drinking like most young people at the time and one night a few of us were there and one of them pulls a wrap of brown out. I obviously did not know what it was at the time,but anyway he proceeds to smoke it on the foil and offers me a couple of lines,i try some being intoxicated from the drink. Immediately i start to vomit , after vomiting i had a feeling of safety,the highest,most intense rush and buzz i have ever experienced,words cannot fully describe what i felt the first time i had it.
Consequently, i wanted a rerun of the first time and wanted to go back to that higher state of consciousness,thats when problems started to arise. I had a habit in 3wks,over the last 2-3yrs it has totally taken over my life in a major way,i had a problem with alcohol in a little way before this but this does not even compare. I have had short sharp spells in prison a couple of times due my heroin addiction to fund the habit.
I tried methadone,but never really liked it and after two weeks of taking it,cancelled the prescription,it made me feel sick and is sickly sweet. After further numerous arrests for feeding my habit(shoplifting) and another spell in prison,i started taking buprenorphine,did the detox and then came off the buprenorphine,i was rough for two weeks after stopping the subutex,not in the same league as rattling from h but still had no sleep,stomach cramps and aches in legs and back.
Well currently i am taking small amounts of subutex and feeling fine,,but it will be a long journey to get my head right. I have been used to a substance as addictive as that for a few years and just being in neutral, obviously is great that i'm off it but like i say,it will be a long journey but with support from the right people i hope to stay straight + clean. My father knows my problem now and is supportive,but obviously it has shocked him. I just want to move on up and i know that by staying one step ahead of it by staying straight,i can hopefully get my life back on track. My other "normal" freind's are no longer,we have fallen out and the freinds i now know are chaotic users. Obviously in order to stay straight,i have to cut those freinds off that are chaotic,be cruel to be kind,look after number one-me. I always say to myself when i am frustrated "why me" but it doesnt work,it just gets you more and more worked up and eventually you will lapse,if it niggles at you long enough.
I just want to share my experience with heroin to all that understand and to give my point of view on the subject.