After reading the comments to my heroin addiction story I thought I would update all of you as to how I’m doing. Thanks to everyone who read my story, and thanks to the people who took the time to comment on it.Anyway, I start my second semester of my second year at uni next week. My time at uni could not really be going any better, I’ve achieved A's and B's for all of my modules, and straight A's for the one topic of my degree. I love uni, it’s given me the focus in life I’ve craved for years. People at uni are always totally gobsmacked when I tell them about my past, some find it hard to believe I’ve come this far. Education and employment is the key to staying clean I feel, a new focus in life is a good start but there’s plenty of other stuff needed to be drug free long term. I’ve also made some brilliant friends at uni from all walks of life who like me for me, not because I have money for drugs or crap like that. It’s a nice feeling to have some good friends. I can easily understand why people give up on addicts, when they are at their lowest doing regretful things who would want people like that around you. I just want people to know there is hope for all addicts, and people who say a leopard can never change their spots are simply wrong. I've made plenty of mistakes over the years and one of the hardest things about being clean is coming to terms with what you have done. It’s easy to get doped up every day and forget about it, but after getting clean and rebuilding your life it’s worth it in the end. Unfortunately I am still on methadone; words cannot explain how desperate I am to quit it. Methadone is the one link that ties me to my past. I hate standing in the chemist cue as the staff look you up and down comparing you to their inbuilt stereotypes of what a drug addict is. It’s embarrassing and demeaning, but the price one has to pay for being heroin free. I’m thinking about selling my favourite prized possession to pay to go to rehab. If I sell my car it should give about £1500 but I still need another £1800 to go to rehab. I even dream about going away, getting clean then coming back home a new person. I don’t know what other people who are on methadone think but I believe it makes me depressed, and most mornings I wake up freezing cold in bed. It saps your energy and makes you tired, yet despite this, my drug worker claims it does none of these things. I know I’m right because I have read recent journals on the topic. Methadone makes your head all foggy, and either the methadone or my long addiction has ruined my memory. I hope it will get better when I am off the methadone. Methadone was a Godsend to quit heroin, but quitting methadone is ten times worse. I’ve asked my drug worker to help me pay towards rehab, but because I’m not out burglarising houses and being a pain in the community I’m not eligible. I do, however, totally understand why addicts are not seen as worthy of this kind of help. I’m still waiting for a lucky break so I can be off methadone forever. Anyways, thanks for reading this. I will update again soon. Thanks to all of you who have been interested in my progress. It’s great to see that there are people out there with a heart. I hope any addicts who are reading this can see that there is light at the end of the tunnel and if I can do it I know anyone else can. Despite what drug workers say a relapse is not the end of the world, just learn from it and continue on your way. There is hope for us all no matter how bad the situation. Thanks again, and God bless.S.
mgturbo1 26-30, M 6 Responses 5 Jan 20, 2010