I Would Like To Clear Up A Few Things About Sensitive People

This is my personal interpretation of an HSP!

A) It's not only about having one's feelings hurt easily. I know many people that are easily hurt but are not sensitive. People who are truly sensitive care about other's feelings as much as they do their own. They generally try to choose their words carefully as to not offend or hurt others.
B) Things affect them more deeply. Yes, they feel very deeply and as such, past emotional hurts linger longer. And they tend to take things both more personally and seriously. Not only the hurts that are inflicted on them, but also those that are imposed on others.  They are affected by the world's afflictions and the afflictions of those around them.  Their heart feels the pain of others.
C) They are more complex. They see many different layers to situations. They frequently are not as black and white as others. They see many sides to a situation and tend to be less judgmental. And yes, they frequently tend to see things that others don't.  It's almost like they have x-ray vision and see right to the heart of things.  
D) They are less superficial. In fact, many cannot stand superficiality. They see through the superficial bling that many others don't. Many won't just date a guy because he's cute and has a nice car. They usually look for deeper qualities.  It's not that they don't like material things.    It's just that they don't believe it's the be all end all and they frequently look deep into the hearts and soul of people.
E) Most love beauty.  They see it in poetry, art, children, nature, etc.  And sometimes even in material things that are truly exquisite.  
F) Sensitivity is both positive and negative. They see the bad in things that others don't but they also see the good in things that others don't. They are touched by the smile of a baby, a cute puppy, a sunny day and beautiful art. They see things in vivid colour. It makes their day when they can help a vulnerable person and put a smile on someone's face. They are moved by nature and poetry.  In fact, they can be moved by so many things.  When they look at things they may see things that others don't - both good and bad.
G) And lastly many HSP's are very soulful and spiritual.  They frequently take longer to process things.  They need time to process every nuance and to look at things from every perspective.  They are not made for this fast pace world.  They are healers and frequently very wise and soulful and look for deep connections and thus in this superficial, fast paced world can leave them feeling lonely and isolated.

In short being a sensitive person is both a blessing and a curse. I don't mean to be arrogant, but in a way, I've always felt that we are more emotionally intelligent.
lagatta lagatta
46-50, F
53 Responses Aug 9, 2011

Wow!!! So impressed by your writing...I feel you spoke every word I've thought about highly sensitive peopke...As I am one myself...I just loved it..thanks for taking the time to share it...and yes I don't like superficial...it's a Lil necessary in the beginning of knowing someone or being social but once your past all that ..it's so exciting to dig deeper into someone else or you self or whatever your interests you..it's more fulfilling ...I spree their are pros and cons to this special trait...The emotional intelligence you speak of is so true....my issue is sometimes I react emotionally before thinking it through ...ugh..lol..gets me in trouble sometimes..lol..When hurt anyway..I'm learning and growing but would love any advice from another HSP in how to learn not to react so quickly in those situations...I feel this need to express my feelings and the desire is strong at that moment....any advice???...

This is my first post on this site. This is actually my first attempt to connect with HSPs b/c I didn't know what it was until recently when my husband sent me an article on it saying, "This is you." :)
It is quite an overwhelming experience to discover all of these people who can relate to my experience - to find out one is not alone.
Anyway, the thing I wanted to comment on was being able to see beneath the surface. I'm also an INFJ on the MyersBriggs stuff and I read once where someone cleverly stated: "INFJs: they know what hearts in the lies of men." (not just what lies in the hearts of men) I think maybe HSPs often have this ability. I don't think it's supernatural, but I think it is just that we have a temperament with causes us to pick up subtleties almost subconsciously. And here's one more thing I want to say about it: almost every time that I've had this kind of insight, but then I checked myself and doubted myself about it, I've ended up being right after all.

Add a response...

Well spelled out Lagatta. I totally agree on everything you said. This is an eye opener. Thanks for sharing.

Thanks for sharing. I totally agree with you.

Gosh , your summing up of an HSP is absolutely spot on.
I should say I have only just discovered this site and only recently concluded that I am HSP myself.
Your comments really strike a chord with me , particularly with regard to seeing , where others only look , and not belonging in this fast paced world.
I do feel that if the majority of people were like us , then the world would be a far far better place.
Perhaps we should be arrogant enough to believe that HSPs are highly advanced human beings ! Imagine if human beings evolved over time to have HSP characteristics. What a fantastic world that would be.
Maybe we are the world's last hope ?
With kindest regards

That is me 100%, and i have asked myself many times if its a blessing or curse. I truly believe i don't fit in this world.

Does taking anti depressant making you more sociable ??

No I don't think anti-depressants make you more social per se, but if you are suffering from depression than it will certainly make a difference in your desire to socialize. I wish you all the best.

I'd say, more "acutely" emotionally intelligent, if you see what I mean. Your desc<x>ription, otherwise, speaks for me too... very nicely written, thank you!

Well I grew up in a very dysfunctional family/society where there was little to no emotional intelligence so I think that's where I'm getting that from. As a child I was the peace maker, the negotiator, "the wise one" of the family. Perhaps if I was raised in a more functional environment I wouldn't have felt that way. My story was a very personal reflection of my observations.

It's funny how that works! Same here. I'm still play the peacemaker.

very true

I'm all for "begining to see my trait in a positive way" but let's not make ourselves superior beings. We do see things that other people don't, and those things are sometimes real and sometimes not. Ex: we sometimes see the pain that people are trying to hide, and we sometimes see the pain that we want to see in them only as a result of our own projection (no matter how strong it feels). HSP can be emotionally intelligent and emotionally crippled just as non HSP can be. In fact I suspect that HSP not being able to cope with all the inner and outer stimulation can become a "Highly Agressive Person" if things go very wrong. Saying that this trait leads to apstract constructions like "loving beauty, being nonsuperficial, or being touched by a puppy" is in my opinion inacurate. For example being able so go deeper in things makes me realise that "loving beauty" can easily be "being superficial", and chosing words to not hurt people can mean lying and hurting them in the long run. We come in all shapes and sizes for all I know and this trait is not the only thing defining us. "Looking at someone's soul" can be a very deep understanding of that person's situation or just a strong fantasy.
I don't mean to attack, I just believe that feeling superior won't help us any more then feeling weak and inferior did.

I don't feel superior. This is my own personal take on sensitivity. Thanks for stopping by.

That is a very well thought out and insightful post. Thank you.

Right on. You have summed it up well.

So true. HSP are often not shallow, superficial, and materialistic, and they are often compassionate, empathetic, tolerant, accepting, non-judgmental, open minded people who want to trust people. They are often positive and optimistic, but when they get hurt they often suffer much harder, and longer, than non-HSPs do.

So true we do suffer for longer when we get hurt but I'm working on toughening up. I'm trying to retain the positive side to my sensitivity while toning down the negative.

This made me tear up. *grin*

me too

Glad it touched you!

I love this side of you, Lagatta :) You have a kind heart and it shows. You captured everything beautifully.

Thank you Rubies! :)

I have a question... what if some of the things you said are somewhat true about me or not true at all... At the same time, some of the things you said are EXTREMELY true about me. I took a "self-test" and i think i am but... yeah something like that
(I'm a 17 year old young man just trying to understand the way I am)

Being sensitive is on a continuum meaning you can be on the HSP Spectrum without having all the attributes. I wrote it according to my own personal experiences with it. I wish you the best in your journey of self-discovery.

I also think we are each unique. HSP's can get overstimulated easily, but personally I found I have a high capacity of tolerance for visual/colorful things. In that one area I have a greater tolerance than even many non-HSP's

Hallelujah to all of that!! Yes, its great at last to know who I am and to see there are other people who are the same and that I am not some kind of "freak"

thank you for writing this. I've recently been diagnosed as a HSP and this helps me understand who I am, in a way.

Ya, it's hard being an HSP sometimes but I'm getting better at it.

That's me you're describing, I've always thought of myself as a weak person, for being this way, but you put it so lovely, maybe I'm not weak after all, so thankyou :)

No you are not weak at all. Being sensitive can be a strength.

Brilliant article. Totally describes me to a tee.

Sometimes I hate being sensitive because it can hurt but at other times when I'm feeling more positive, I realize that it's a great gift to be able to enjoy so much in life and feel so deeply.

I know what you mean. It feels good to be able to connect with people on such a deep level. But it hurts like hell when those connections bring about negative emotions. When its good its good, but when its bad boy is it bad.

Great post!

You did a VERY lovely and extremely accurate post....you got it exactly right...I wish I had your writing skills. The way you described what life is like for us has rendered me speechless...BRAVO!

Aww...thank you!

thank you :)

Your welcome!

Thank You for Sharing and Clearing this up..... I hope you don't mind but I need to share your explanation with others. Waiting for your ....OK. This so explains me. thank you again!! ((hugs))

Sure...who do you plan on sharing it with?

Thank You... to just a couple of friends I would like to email it to... so they have a better understanding of me.

Oh certainly. Go ahead. I'm flattered that you are using my words to help your friends better understand u.

You said soulful, I would call it spirituality. Spirituality means many things. Just to name one, being aware of your immediate surroundings, there's so many more.<br />
So when somebody calls me sensitive, I take it as a compliment and a very good compliment at that. We also can be sensitve physically and even that's a great thing to have such as a warm summer breeze blow against your skin. Only one exception, the negative side of it, someone sensitive with an anger problem that can't control their emotions and resort to physical abuse which to me brings out the animalistic ugly demeaning nature of a human of the worse kind. When a person resorts to physical abuse and such violence, to me it's like be a stray dog on the street.

I actually think sensitive people are less prone to violence. Yes, we may get hurt easily but in my opinion most sensitive people are gentle, compassionate souls that don't like to hurt others. At times, I can get so hurt that I explode but I never, ever get violent and I always feel bad for my emotional outbursts and follow up not only with an apology but also with a heart to heart.

Yes! I agree completely that we are more alert to the world around us, but not in the same way that, say, an eagle or a tiger is. Here's how I have been thinking of it recently: We detect weakness and pain like a predator, but instead of pouncing and killing, we want to nurture and protect. We do not feel the need to control an environment but to support it, and this often leads to a natural tendency towards deliberation and quietness as opposed to lightning-quick reflexes. We do have the heightened senses of a predator, though, to the point that things like flowers are not pretty but HOLY MONKEY THAT'S BEAUTIFUL and unwanted interactions are not annoying but IN YOUR FREAKING FACE. We perceive but do not get involved in battles of alpha dominance or cleverness because our brains are too busy taking in sensory information and maintaining a concern for the well-being of everyone around us. We are happy to work for meaning over society's definition of "success", which is nothing more than a synonym for winning the competition of life.

Yes, and maybe if corporations and government were run by sensitive people the world we live in would be a better place.

Wow thank you for posting that, simply beautiful. It also brought tears to my eyes.

Aww....thanks for such a sweet comment!

I actually read your statement and it brought a tear to my eye as i am like that and the vunerablility of letting people into your life and being that way and especially the point about helping others and the superficial thing xxx yes i guess i am like a onion many levels to me things that make me annoyed that i get enmotional over that other maybe would just laugh as ...or show no emotion <br />
TRhe cry of a baby .. watching a old couple holding hands .. and the fact that even thou i am 40 i love to woo a women

Wooing a woman is a good thing! No shame in that! In fact, it's a common occurranc in Europe. Chivalry is still alive there.

thankyou hun xxx

People should Google'' Highly Sensitive People" and see what it's all about. It's a recognised personality type and make about 10% of the human population. I am one too and always thought I was just irritable and full of crap until I recognised myself on the mentioned websites.<br />
Like lagatta mentioned HSP'S or Empaths as they are sometimes called, see and hear exactly like everybody else but the way they process the sensory input is in overdrive, making them extremely sensitive and making them perceive what others cannot. I'm so damn sensitive to people's moods that I''m almost clairvoyant and it's mostly a drawback because I pick up negetive energy from others in a heartbeat. '<br />
Any other HSP'S or interested people out there are more than welcome to contact me and then we can talk.

yes, i actually have the workbook as well. i'm a high-sensation seeking hsp which is even more difficult because we need harmony and peace but get bored quickly and need stimulation. i do think that modern day life is harder for HSP's. There is just too much stimulation that it becomes overdrive for us.

I feel like you just expressed the very essence of who I am. It's good to know that there are other people in this world who also feel deeply, and that that sensitivity brings blessings along with the struggles.

you described it perfectly, I loved it

I can't really add much to what has already been said but this helps me understand the sensitivities of sensitive people - being tough as old boots myself!

I suggest this book for we sensitive types...: Human-Odyssey-Navigating-Twelve-Stages of life/<br />
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http://www.thehumanodyssey.com/<br />
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The author speaks of remembers and adapters. All of us are some combination of both..as examples he describes Emily Dickinson as being mostly a rememberer..That is someone who remembers some of the spirit down connections from birth and feels things intensely .............as opposed to adapters who are people that excel in adapting to the world...as an example he uses..John Stanford who..when his son died...he started Stanford University in his son's memory.

Actually that kind of makes sense. I remember things and feel them deeply.

It seems that you know a lot, good and bad about "sensitive or over sensitive people". Would you be so kind to give me your comments, about forgiveness, regrets and resentments. Bring thing over and over and not passing the page? I am interested. I met...I was in love with some one...well I was engage with an "over sensitive" it was very hard for me and I tried and tried because I love him too too much, but he always brought small stupid things over and over, and when there was a new issue, he added this one to his non ending list. He never saw what he did, always too busy judging me. I really became exhausted. I decided to move on. Your comments, will be very much appreciated... :)

Realoce, resentment, regrets and forgiveness are completely unrelated to sensitivity. Like everyone, you will find sensitive people that are very good at forgiving and others that are not. I do think, however, that sensitive people can take things more personally especially if they haven't learned how to properly manage their sensitivity/emotions. I have a feeling that your ex may be carrying some baggage and it's probably something he needs to deal with before he can enter a relationship in a healthy way.

Thank you for this wonderful explanation of sesnitive people.....I know from experience that some people just dont understand (and some dont want to).

I can completely relate to everything you have written ...It is interesting to me your observations on the 'sensitive' and their level of 'intelligence' from reading the above comments I would say that 'sweetlittlemelly' explains this best....sensitive people have a high 'EQ' this is very different to 'IQ' but is I believe more significant, more important as a gauge of a persons intelligence than the other. Why? because EQ is about your ability to get through life and IQ is simply your ability to get through school. I also agree with your point on 'loneliness' a sensitive person high in emotional intelligence is often misunderstood because they are 'different' to others in so many ways. Knowing you're different, having a unique perception and an ability to see what others do not, can often make us sensitive souls feel very alone. Thank you lagatta.. This is a wonderful post.

Wow...what a thoughtful and intelligent desc<x>ription....thanks for being so articulate......

Great piece, very poetic, I also find that HSP's are often good at poetry as well do you find this? But go easy on the Short and Deep words, lol, or am I just too sensitive?? :)

You look deep into a persons soul, scanning their hearts. You share with them your sense of peace. You expressed your story with calmness.

I completely agree and could really relate. I would like to mention that in regards to intelligence- I do believe that we have a huge advantage over emotional intelligence, the challenging part is just emotional management and being able to still fell our feelings completely- but yet be able to not let them control us. I would also encourage you to look at soul ages- Michael's teachings and mature/ old level souls tend to be more sensitive, more empathetic/ intuitive, the more that one goes through, the more that they are able to feel, so their heart and soul are capable of feeling more.<br />
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Hope that helps, thank you!

Very interesting points! Thanks for your response. :)

Here is some information about soul ages and teh link if anyone is interested (there are 7 ages and 7 levesl within each one):
Soul Age

As you progress through your cycle, you naturally grow in experience. Your world view changes according to a systematic plan, which corresponds to your Soul Age. Soul Age is usually determined by the number of lifetimes you've had, start to finish, however some people are speedier learners than others, and can become Old Souls with fewer lifetimes than the norm. Here are the seven Soul Ages and their attributes:

Infant: Raw, simple, wild and unmanageable, instinctive, animal-like in some cases, frightened look in eyes, limited frame of reference due to small number of lifetimes. Simple people in tribal cultures, survivalists in the woods, psychopaths, mass murderers. Not too many Infant Souls become famous, but here are a few: Richard Allen Davis (killer of Polly Klaas), David Carpenter (serial rapist/killer), Richard Ramirez (The Hillside Strangler), Larry Singleton (rapist/killer).

Baby: The phase where people learn to live with people. Can be loving, yet simplistic in thinking; see things in black and white terms, Good versus Evil; like the security of church or political party membership; like to live in small, insular towns without a whole lot going on. Rules make life seem easy to understand. Love big families. Religious churchgoers, God-fearers, evangelists, PTA and NRA members. Examples: Jerry Falwell, Adolph Hitler, Jesse James, Rush Limbaugh, Timothy McVeigh, Mike Tyson, Brigham Young.

Young: Sophisticated, worldly-wise, like to be rich and famous, to collect things. A karma-building level. Not too deep, love power, worship youth, don't like to look old. Examples: Cher, Sheryl Crow, Rebecca DeMornay, Kirsten Dunst, Newt Gingrich, John Grisham, Nicole Kidman, Ralph Lauren, Bob Packwood, Claudia Schiffer, OJ Simpson, Nicole Brown Simpson, Sharon Stone, Donald Trump.

Mature: Interested in deep relationships and philosophy, thrive on emotional intensity, learning about their impact on the world, striving for ecological and social balance. Examples: Murray Abraham, Isabel Allende, Maya Angelou, Michael Bolton, Kevin Costner, Clarissa Pinkola Estes, Bob Dylan, Anthony Hopkins, John Malkovich, Bill Moyers, Sinead O'Connor, Martin Sheen, Gary Trudeau, Robert James Waller, James Woods.

Old: Retired, relaxed-looking, puttering around, usually happy, not getting excited about too much, unambitious, learning to teach and love, finishing off karmas. Examples: Werner Erhard, Boutros Boutros-Ghali, Robert Bly, George Carlin, Whoopi Goldberg, James Earl Jones, Dalai Lama, Gary Larson, Nelson Mandela, Abraham Lincoln, Bill Murray, Jack Palance, Ram Dass, Bernie Siegel, Patrick Stewart, Jessica Tandy, Mother Teresa, Alice Walker, Marianne Williamson, Frank Zappa.

You do have to believe in reincarnation to follow this philosophy, so I'm sorry if I am upsetting anyone's spirtiual beliefs. It just made a lot of sense to me, and help's to explain why we feel so different from other people at times.


Most of the population is a young soul, so it could also explain why you may feel very different from other people.


INFANT 10% 500 million

CHILD 23% 1.1 billion

YOUNG 32% 1.7 billion

MATURE 24% 1.2 billion

OLD 11% 550 Million

Brokenmoggy, asking someone if their upcoming holiday would have pretty scenery is exactly something I would ask ;-P I tend to have a good imagination and I can picture what people describe perfectly. I am SO familiar with the response you received... honestly, I just throw up my hands sometimes, lol. "We have to remember that most people don't think like this" - a good point to keep in mind, sometimes I forget.<br />
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So yes, dear coworker, enjoy your drunken, loud, likely obnoxious holiday that you probably won't remember (everyone you encounter will though, ahem). I'd rather remember (key word) my vacations for who I went with, what I did and the beauty that undoubtedly surrounded me.

Thanks Brokenmoggy!! It drives me crazy when people pretend to be sensitive but are only sensitive to their own feelings. Sorry, but I think that's more selfish than sensitive. Judging from this group, it appears that there a few of us out there. We just need to find them.

i totally agree with you. i can usaully read people like a book and wonder why my husband doesn't see it.

i have lost count of how many times i have been told you too sensative i agree 100% with what you say and wish i cold have put it in words as you have i am sensative but you have made me feel better about myself today a lot better i thank you for you wise words and i wold love to be a friend of yours as anyone who canwrite like you have must be a lovely person Paul

Preach it! XD lol this is so true!

You just made me fall in love with this site. I often feel weird because I know that the ppl I see everyday will never gets me but atleast now I know that I'm not alone. Wonderful desc<x>ription.

It all sounded very familiar. Thank you for such a great desc<x>ription.

There is a danger to having this sensitivity. I've seen and experienced it from my mother. She was an only child and envied all the neighbors for their big families. She determined early on that what she wanted was a big family. But her childhood was peaceful and quiet so she never learned how to deal with all the conflict the interactions of a big family produce. So she fell back on her sensitivity and started manipulating us 'for our own good' when actually all she wanted was peace and quiet. She has done this all her life and continues to this day. Once I figured out what was going on (the eldest and all that goes with it!), I told my siblings so that they wouldn't get frustrated with all her machinations. Sensitivity is a double edged sword. As with any blessing, it can be turned. <br />
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Personally, I don't know if I have it or not. There are times I am extremely empathic and am able to use that to help. There are other times that I am totally oblivious of what is going on. Maybe the times that I am, I just know those individuals and has nothing to do with sensitivity. I do know that, at times, I seem to have a much more difficult time reading faces and emotions than others do. What I do know is that because I was raised the way I was, I tend to be extremely direct and up front with my dealings. If I say something, I mean EXACTLY what I say. Maybe I'm doing this in rebellion and have turned down or off what sensitivity I have.<br />
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I can see sensitivity being a very powerful tool, for good or ill. But, as has been stated, more often than not the sensitive doesn't know how to process what they have taken on and (at least from my experience) can be lost in what they are experiencing. I honestly believe that is why my mother did what she did. It was self-protection.

@Rowena, I'm sorry your mother was manipulative but that has nothing to do with her sensitivity. My mother was extremely manipulative and she is NOT sensitive . And I'm not manipulative in the least and I'm VERY sensitive. They are not related at all.

I'm afraid I have to disagree with you on this one. She was both. I know they aren't necessarily linked, but I tried to share why I thought hers were linked. We have had too many conversations over the years where her sensitivity to those around her were the topic of conversation and the difficulty she had 'deciding what to do about it'. In other words, she used her sensitivity to make her manipulations that much more effective. Don't get me wrong. I'm not saying all sensitives are manipulative. But she was.

I'm sorry your mother obviously didn't handle it very well but it sounds like you've been able to deal with it and learn from her mistakes which iis awesome and shows that you are a strong person. :)

Thank you, but in my opinion I'm too strong. I feel very deeply, but no one sees it. Too many times I'm oblivious of what is going on around me. In other words, in my rebellion I was too effective. When I take the time to pay attention I pick up on all sorts of things, but even there, because I don't have the ongoing experience in handling them, I'm clueless as to what to do or say. I don't blame anybody for this, except maybe myself, but I know what I was rebelling against. I guess when I was younger I did link the sensitivity and the manipulation, because now it's pretty obvious I managed to shut down both. I guess the good news is that, being oblivious, I don't have to process and deal with what I'm picking up. But I'm not sure, looking at it now, that it was worth the cost. I don't mean to be maudlin. It's water under the bridge. I've done enough self-analysis to recognize where I am and what needs to be done. So no real regrets. It was necessary at the time and got me through when I needed it. I DO apreciate your concern and your well wishes. Thank you.

@Rowena &amp; Rose, My mother was also extremely manipulative and abusive. We were also supposed to feel what she felt. And we were supposed to know how she was feeling and needed at any particular time without her telling us. And if we got the emotion wrong (for example if I acted sad when she thought I should be happy or acted happy when she thought I should be sad) we would get slapped around. We would also got smacked for all sorts of reasons without explainations. Growing up, my whole life was about her and her needs both emotionally and physically. It was also about trying to avoid getting emotionally and physically abused. I've become hyper-vigilant in reading people because I'm always trying to avoid conflict. So I'm constantly trying to gauge other people and be extra careful how I say things as to not hurt or offend people. However, having said that I'm still pretty direct in my communication. I prefer to have the cards out on the table. I like to know other people's expectations and I like to know where I stand. I feel more comfortable when the guess work is taken out.

And unlike my parents (and apparently it seems like yours), I can't stand hurting others and will avoid it sometimes even at my own cost. That's what happens when you are sensitive AND compassionate it guess.

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Yes, yes, yes and yes. You captured the intricacies of sensitive people extremely well. I used to think of my sensitivity as somewhat of a curse. However, I learned when channeled, it can be more helpful than I ever imagined. <br />
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For instance, it’s easy to read someone, easy to know when a friend is bothered by something and easy to pick up “vibes” from those around you. There is certainly a downside, because sometimes it’s hard to get rid of any negativity or pain that you pick up. But the pluses outweigh the negatives by far.<br />
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I also agree with katnipkitkat - I would not say we are more intelligent, but perhaps we are more observant and empathetic

Rated up. Very well said.

I wouldn't say more intelligent, I would say that they/we have perhaps more wisdom. I am sure there are plenty of people out there in the world who are much more intelligent than I, but many of them probably have as much sensitivity as a hard cold slab of granite.

I had a friend until recently that I finally realized was just too stupid to see anything from anybody else's perspective. He said it was just a waste of time and all that mattered was what he thought. He is the guy always quick to make fun of everyone and then perpetuate some silly **** for years and years, capitalizing on opportunities to try to embarrass people in public situations. You know the type...remember the time when you made an *** out of yourself and it is still funny 30 years later.... We had been friends for 40 years since childhood and talked virtually every day. He seldom attempted to slam me in front of others due to the fact I knew far more embarrassing things he had done, but he habitually made me feel bad because of the unprovoked, harsh and insensitive things he would say to others - often kind, sweet people. He is particularly harsh to women who are bigger than pencil. Over the years, I have talked to him about it a million times. He is the type who gets some sort of pleasure out of maliciously hurting others. His typical response is that I am a ***** for caring about hurting others. He is a self-help junky and has been to every seminar and owns every book Tony Robbins and all the other self-help guru's peddle and somehow what he got out of it was do whatever it takes to make himself feel better about himself. I took it as my responsibility to change him for years through three wives and his fifty some odd jobs, yes, fifty something jobs, before he started his own business - which is successful. After 40 years, and having no other close friends, I finally decided I was tired of having a friend that constantly embarrassed me by being a rude and hurtful to others and made me feel bad. I miss having a friend to discuss my raw feelings, but feel good about shedding a part of my life that was a constant source of discomfort.

WOW... this person has had more than enough of your time. Sometimes, you just have to step away from people and let them fall on their own. You more than did your time, good for you for stepping away.

is a different type of intelligence but also others are so selfish and don't put themselves in the situation of others like is never going to happen to them I'm sensitive too but try Not to show it much specially when I'm having a bad day in my case I think it could work against me during those days that's messed up what she said to you