hi there, Ive been looking for someone to chat with online, I'm quite fine with helping out others until it takes the energy to help myself. I go "off with the fairies" when overwhelmed, and am trying to make it work with a new man. we have moved in together...up til now have been having difficulties & trust issues of men form numerous date rapes, and i can feel my body physically sick, and trying to push him away when all he is trying to do is hold me take care of me and love me. I know I love him, but my body (and even in my sleep) I Physically feel restless and still traumatised and "push him away". he knows this is happening but he can't understand because i can't communicate how mixed up i feel. so it seems like i am selfish. i don't want to relive it all.but maybe i have to...I just want to cry and cry and cry but I am blocked...I want to scream.......is someone there with some kind advice?