I've always been 'shy'. Empathy is almost a flaw for me, since people like to take advantage of it. I feel guilt to the point where I could throw up, and I've always been able to notice 'vibes' from the people around me. I'm a musician with horrible stage fright, and suffer panic attacks when around large groups of unknown people. I don't like to leave home too much, but I get pretty lonely. Also, I love painting too, and writing comes naturally to me. I've been writing poetry since I was 9 years old.
There's much more than that, but it's a lot to write.

Anyway, I was diagnosed with BiPolar disorder when I was 16 after a suicide attempt. I was seeing my youth counselor at the time who also said I had Social Anxiety Disorder. I figured I was just a product of my upbringing. Lots of abuse, and though I would fight to protect my mother, and my siblings... I was sure I had sealed myself in a protective shell out of fear. I self reflect a lot, and often wished I could just be 'normal'.

It wasn't until I noticed my daughter had very similar traits as I, that I started questioning my theory. She's JUST like me! Just today she was a puddle of tears, sobbing with guilt, because she burned me by accident. She's very emotional, very sweet, and plays well by herself. I love listening to her sing, and make up clever stories.

Maybe this is in born? HSP.. I've heard of it before... Hmmm...
mandisamara mandisamara
22-25, F
1 Response Jan 20, 2013

I think you are a common voice, at least for me.For me, everything is true, exept from the part beginning from the abuse and the rest..Thank You.