I Am A Highly Educated, Gifted Young Lady With A Dark Hoarding Secret.....

I think the problem came to a head when a repairman refused to do work in my home due to the amount of stuff that he had to walk through to get the the area that had to be serviced. In all fairness to me, I had cleaned (i.e. shifted) the area where he was working and it was completely accessible. After 6 hours of crying at the realization that I could no longer hide my hoarding, I realized that there has to be more people out there like me.

I have a college education, a professional degree actually, and I've always been very intelligent. I'm not a dirty person, and I can't tolerate bad odors. I live with a romantic partner who doesn't love me, but the living situation works out best for both of us. He blames me for the state of our home, but he contributes as well. He would never admit to being a hoarder.

I lived with hoarders from the time I was a teenager until I finished high school. I never had friends over. I was ashamed, but I didn't think that it was a problem.

We bought a beautiful, sophisticated home that was building in the 1950's. It has gorgeous hard wood floors, but you can never see them.

I always start projects to get rid of things, but I will find something to distract myself with. Earlier this week, after a different repairman made a comment about getting a maid, I threw away 6 trash bags full of things that were broken, stained, didn't fit or were just useless overall. I say that I threw them away, but in reality, the bags are packed still waiting.

I know that I'd like to have a child someday, but I can't bring a kid into a hoarder's world... I feel bad for my dogs for having to live in it most days.
SweetSheri SweetSheri
26-30, F
2 Responses Jan 7, 2013

Hey,
my name is Anna, and I am in the early stages of researching the area of hoarding tendencies for a documentary in the UK, where we will provide over 6 months of free expert specialist help and therapy for the 2 UK participants involved.

If you know of anyone interested in this opportunity, or want to hear more, do get in touch with my details below .

anna.altounyan (at) blinkfilmsuk.com

I am so sorry that you are in the midst of this.
Can you seek help to see what the root of the hoarding is? Letting go can be difficult.

I used to hoard food but eventually realized that I was not going to starve. I thought I would so everytime I shopped I bought 2 or more of everything, which adds up eventually. Now I allow myself to have things in 3s which is manageable.