Child Of A Hoarder And Living With A Hoarder

I'm 26 living with my partner and my father in Brisbane, Australia. My father is the only family i have left which is why i do not wish to move out, also because I'm studying 2 full time courses and need to continue to do so in order to fulfill my career goal. He is a doubt about it. He has put my health at risk many times - causality has put his at risk too which has led him to be morbidly obese, have osteoathritis, sleep apnoea, depression and i fear that now diabetes is just around the corner.
The possible cause is that his mother and father died approximately 2 years ago (at ripe old ages of 88 and 85ish), and that my parents had a very nasty divorce about 9 years ago) - but they were my grandparents and my mother also and did
I have my bedroom and small computer area...that's it. out of the 2 and 1/2 fridges, i have 3 small shelves maximum to cater for myself and my partner...the rest is filled to the brim with crap. The rest of the house is the same, he complains that i never sit with him...well there's no where TO sit, except in my bedroom where i can control the mess and actually have a chair to sit on. I work so hard to clean up and maintain so that no other mess and debris has a permanent place, but it's no use because he never cleans. So while he feel comfortable in the mess of off food and flies and crap everywhere, I have to either clean it or put up with it. Not only that, I pay my share of $249 a fortnight for electricity, net, water, rates. SO IM PAYING TO LIVE IN ****.
I've explained my pains to him many times and many different times over the course of my 26 years on this earth and that i want him to be well and declutter his life and that it hurts me in so many ways also...he just feels like he needs to collect everything and anything because he has nothing, when in fact to me, he has everything he'll ever need. A loving daughter, a loving and giving girlfriend, and safe environment. If i throw everything out when he's gone, i fear he'll throw me out...not only of the house but of his life too. I've tried doing small things to encourage him, i've even thrown my things out first! But no change. I love him so much. But I fear that he will never change and admit that it is causing so much damage.....if i stick around too long i will become mentally insane. I need to get this study done and get out.
Leeloominai Leeloominai
Jan 10, 2013