Heartbroken

i'm 20 yrs old. recently moved to a new city. not much of a social life but i keep busy. i never really had much friends and when i did have friends they weren't friends at all. i always felt like an outsider. never felt like i belonged or could fit in. when i moved here this guy i knew from high school lives around here so i thought hey we should hang out. we did and things escalated into a sexual relationship. problem is i caught feelings. he said he did too but honestly its hard to believe that. he says he has problems but when i call him he just talks about his weekend and how fantastic it was. doesn't sound like you're hurting to me. he would call me every morning. now i'm lucky if i get a decent hi. i called him just now and asked him about your relationship and all he could do was make silly noises and just plain ignore my questions. he knew i was hurt but wouldn't even offer as much as a sorry. he knows how i feel about him. maybe because he was my only friend here he thought it was okay to play games and no matter what i'll cling to him because he's all i have. i don' get it. he said he would never hurt me. and told me he was different. he's not. he's just the same as everyone else i've ever met. i've never once been treated good by a friend. i'm always put down, run over or forgotten about. i don't know why i am the one people do this too. now i just don't even feel good enough to go out and face the world. everything inside hurts. i feel so numb and empty.
bonfireofsparkles bonfireofsparkles
18-21, F
May 16, 2012