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Hopeless

A text from you, one of the things that can bring joy to the dullest days. How could I know how much pain could come from just one. "I'm in a relationship". My stomach flips as my heart sinks though the soles of my shoes.
I force myself to break the hesitation to respond with a carefully scripted happiness.  I could never tell you what my real thoughts are, it is not my place. How could I put you in such a position? So I struggle to maintain my facade. I would not want to burden you. I love you. 
The truth is, you don't feel the same. As muchI try to tell myself that being your best friend is enough. But, I don't know how much longer I can lie to myself. 
What will happen then, I wonder. Will it end with my feelings slowly dying and a bitterness forming between us? Or is there a small chance that my stubborn hope of being more than a friend, will be giving it's desire. I am giving myself false hope again. Why can't I let you go? Save myself from the inevitable rejection.
lostandconfused16sej lostandconfused16sej 16-17, F Jul 11, 2012

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