Reflections Lost

Why do I feel I have let you down because I did not forsee your arrival in my life? How could I possibly have known? Was I born to be a millstone around your neck? To be a source of your intractable suffering? Should I have awakened to you years ago when I was still lost in earth’s unforgiving polarity? There was nobody there to help me wake. I am alone in my awakening yet.
Who are you Lovers of the Ages? These ages I have seen you, been with you and known you. Each time I dwell with you I become but a brighter fractal of you. Not a twin, but a reflection of all that you showed me, in these many lives of service here. Like a glassy fragment, when I leave you for a moment or for a lifetime, I lose that hazy picture of myself.

Who am I when you are not here? I am lost, floating silently in an ocean of black velvet. Save me oh Lover of the Sea; frolic with me for a time and I shall die happy. Abandon me to the waves and I shall die. But if you must go, love my body before you go. Leave your taste on my tongue so that I shall know you next time. That taste may become my salvation after all. If not it will be a lingering sweetness as I age.

Wake me once before you leave and place your tongue on mine. Bring pleasure to my hungry soul and press your heart to mine. Suspend my body in a place without time where there is only you and I. Wipe my tears and tell me our love is not a trick of the Light.

I love you.