Story Book Romances Set The Bar Infinitely Too High

As strange as it may sound to some of you I write this in the hope that just one other person feels the way I find myself feeling more and more as a young adult.

As a child growing up in the 90's i was raised on classic love stories like Beauty and the Beast and West side Story. Just a few of my favorites. Any way I always felt like when you meet some one there would be nothing but unquestionable loyalty for one another. Love at first sight so to speak. I wanted ,and still want, so desperately that feeling that someone is always right behind you, always on your team looking out for whats best for you. I am in love with love stories! But growing up you find out that there non existent and worse yet the replacement is a shallow mess of what you thought love would be. Selfish and often fake to begin with. High school taught me that lesson and college has been no better.

I find myself day dreaming more and more about the perfect girl and although I have always known perfect was shooting for the stars is it so hard to find a girl who is fun loving, quirky, confident, loyal, smart, and well pretty? People say well yea man that IS a perfect girl. But why is that so much to ask for. I don't get it. I feel like those are all attributes (aside from quirky and pretty which are just my added bonuses) that people should pride themselves on being?

In the end i suppose i grew up with the idea that love would be a fairy tale and that women would enjoy it when i took them on extravagant dates not just so that they could brag to their friends about it. But to actual be into it. People are so much more in love with their image and what people think of them and material things its impossible to find someone truly down to earth and knows what love really is. I know i am young and there will be plenty of women ahead of me but until then am i just to sit back and be lonely?

Henryps Henryps
18-21, M
6 Responses Dec 13, 2012

I completly agree that we were raised with the idea that love is suppose to have a "perfect ending". I believe that you need to see a person's imperfections to truly know who they are and what they are like. I don't think you should be lonely at all. I had this crush when i was starting high school and whenever I seen him i got butterflys. Things were on and off and I set my standards high just expecting a typical fairytale, but as you know it didnt work out as I Had planned. We ended things, but to this day me and this guy are best friends. He is the person I can go and tell everything to, if i need a shoulder to cry on he is the guy for me. I love him, and he knows that and he loves me too.. It is just a matter that we have realized we are to good of friends to be anything more. I will always have feelings for Alex, but I learned that it was very important to try new things, find new things that will make you happy. Give girls a chance to prove you wrong. Try new things, and see what you like in certain relationships. As you grow up and start to realize what you like and don't like in a girl finding "The One" will be that much easier. Never give up on trying to find the love of your life. Never settle for something less than what you want because then you will never be happy. :) Hope this helped.

This was really great to read. Thank you for your comment. Of course i know i could never give up on finding my soul mate, to me its the most important thing anyone could do in life. That's great that you and Alex have remained such great friends, its so important to have people like that in your life. But i just feel like if i have such a high standard of what i think love is meant to be, am i deluding myself? Some say that love needs to be built but i have a feeling that when you find true love it will overwhelm you and it will build you. Kind of corny but i still feel like no one should have to settle when it comes to something as important as love.

Thanks for your comment :)

My husband and I are live story material I think. I still feel madly in love with him's just a different sort of madly in love. My best advice though is to keep falling in love with the person you end up with. Love who they are, who they're becoming and who they're going to be. (As if the bar want set high enough right?) honestly though, you'll make your own fairy tale. Instead of a knight in shining armor I met my soldier in a crappy gray pickup.

And love isn't about extravagant dates or fairy tale stuff. Loves about the person that will hold your hair when you have the flu and will tell you if you have nose hairs (him not me I don't get those thank god). I know. It doesn't sound romantic. But once you find someone you feel alright being completely vulnerable around you'll see how romantic it is.

Maybe the problem isn't in what you're looking for but in how or where. And if you want to meet the girl of your dreams, remember to be the man of hers!

Wow, great reply! Congratulations on finding that guy!
I do my best to be that guy and unfortunately being in the navy and traveling constantly! I haven't been anywhere long enough in a few months. But you make such a good point. I can't wait to find out everything there is to know about a girl and feel comfortable enough to let in her on everything about me:)
Great answer! Cheers:)

there is. I have experienced it. Let it change your life in the most inspiring of ways when it happens. No, no one is going to be perfect. Remember what belle had to put up with?

Very good point Mtiff!
Thanks for your response, and congratulations on having experienced the ultimate happiness :)

The experience didn't last long with me, but instead of hardening my heart, I am glad for what I got from it. After several years of sobriety, the man I was with relapsed on alcohol and has been sick ever since.

That is tough, and unfortunately not too uncommon these days. But I have great admiration for people like you who can stay positive and take the best from any situation, really inspiring!


No, thanks you! :)

2 More Responses

Thank both of you responses, its good to know i am not alone on this! :) Also on behalf of all guys who aren't trying vigorously so just get one more notch on their belt, but to actual find a soul mate and treat her as the goddess she deserves. I would like to say there is hope for it. I have read a lot of stories on here, and if even half are true, that gives me all the energy I need to keep on dreaming and be patient. Never going to settle for less then a love story!

Again thank you both for taking the time to read and to respond!

I too am in love with love stories as you worded it , maybe a little too much :P. Although I have never witnessed it in real live , I still believe and I believe this quiet strongly that love like that exists, because you know what ,if it doesn't I am not sure I will be ever to make a relationship work. I hope to find a love that consumes me completely. I want that trust and respect for each other, I want to be anything the other person needs me to be cause I know he would do the same . I also know this kind of commitment would require work, lots and lots of work but I also know with the right person I wouldn't mind.

I couldn't agree more, like you i want the 90's disney classics version of love but i just don't think that form exists. I've been what should seem like the perfect girlfriend but for guys that isn't what they want. No one wants that anymore and it's almost depressing, everyone else goes for the materialistic types now days