Bestfriends , Memories , You And Me <3

Okay where to begin?
I had just broken up with my boyfriend , who actually dumped me for his ex-girlfriend. We had been dating for a 3 months and out of the blue just like that he dumped me. It was the worst i had felt in my entire life and i honestly wanted to curl up and die! And if it doesnt get any worse he dumped me on the first day of summer holidays..
BUT no , this isnt the guy I'm going to talk about. Its one of his close friends that im about to tell you about. His name is kairo and he was dating one of my close friends. We started hanging out and we became quite close , with me crying to him 4 hours a day about my ex (his close friend) . And being a random friend at that time , he was suprisingly there for me..He broke up with his gf (my close friend and cousin) and then things between us were amazing because by this time we were best friends and cared alot about each other and also had the best summer of our lives :).. Then he started developing feelings for me and i wasnt so sure i was ready and didnt even think i had feelings for him..
long story short we ended up going out only for him to hook up with his ex the next day at a party and send me spiraling down those stairs again..we didnt talk for 2 whole months and by then he used wait outside my house for me everyday for those months until finally my bestfriends as well as his, were worried about him being depresses which he was acting like. so i decided to start talking to him and then gradually we did.. i forgave him after a serious conversation ..
On my birthday he took me out with my friend to the beach and we ended up making out and you should have seen his face after that because we were high and i pulled him towards me and he said 'are you sure you want this?' ..i could have slapped that boy then because i knew at that moment that he was the one person who could make me smile from ear to ear at any given time! His face after that resembled a boy walking into a candy store for the first was perfect..:)
Now 2 and a half years and amazing memories later.. we're trying to be best friends again because we were together for 2 years and in those 2 years we had our ups and downs and i can safely say that i have never felt anything for anyone like ive felt for hopelessly in love with him and thats exactly why i want to be bestfriends with him because ive tried living without talking to him and neither of us last more than 2 weeks..i know he still loves me and cares for me and i do too but there's just one problem- he doesnt want a relationship . why? because he cant handle the obligations and pressure of being in one..i sometimes feel the same way but hey here we are and ive tried everything to win him back but it doesnt work because he's made up his mind..what confusing though is that he still loves me and i feel this undenying absurd connection with him and there are some days where i doubt what im doing and tell myself to move brain and heart are at war and the solution isnt quite that simple but the white flag phrase would be 'to go with the flow' and if we really are meant to be together we will be! i truly hope so...he is still my best friend none the less and always will be..again hopefully !! :)
An Ep User An EP User
Jan 18, 2013