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The Wedding Daze

Lately I've heard lots of wedding talk.  Instead these days it's no longer my group of friends doing the planning.  It's my kids' friends. 

I remember back when I was their age (waaaayyyy back) making plans of my own.  I worked in a large office then with many female co-workers.   Some of them were so negative about married life, they were downright nasty.  It really pissed me off at the time.

I still keep in mind how I felt back then.  My own marriage has been rocky (to say the least). I  certainly have doubts about some I see entering into that union today.  It's easy to become bitter and jaded when life doesn't give you the fairy tale ending you imagine.  But I don't want to be the one to cast the veil of impending doom upon their happiness today.

I've been thinking maybe I'd rather be referred to as a "hopeful" romantic.  I don't want to lose my faith things can work out, despite the odds.  I still want to believe in miracles even in a world that frowns upon such foolishness. 

 

 

SeriouslySappy SeriouslySappy 51-55, F 28 Responses Sep 4, 2009

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i don't really agree with marriage...i think that you can hardly expect the person you married to be the same person 10 years later. if you still love them like you did that person you married, that amazing, but it's highly unlikely - chances are you will end up just "existing" with someone. <br />
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being a "hopeful" romantic is actually a really good thing. it's not realistic, but at least you can still have some hope & positivity. i'm not...& the thought of relationships is really depressing.

Here, here! I'm keeping the hope alive and have never been officially married! My son's wedding was one of the finest days of my life! Am overjoyed to report that the two junior high school sweethearts are still very happily married after 10 years! Love and commitment I feel go hand-in-hand with God's plan for a fulfilled life. TY for writing!

Me Too !

Sappy, <br />
<br />
Though I can view the world with scynical eyes sometimes, I too underneath it all am a romantic! I still believe in this thing called love!<br />
<br />
Mizz

Chances ... it's easy to become jaded by all the problems other people have in marriage. If and when you decided to commit to someone, it should only be because it's the right choice for you, no one else.

Your story made me think about my own experiences in a different light. Many of my girlfriends are gushing over their wedding plans, whereas I usually take the "I'm too independent for a man to tie me down" approach. <br />
<br />
From seeing my own parents' marriage disintegrate, and watching my aunts and uncles, their friends, my friends' parents, etc. --- it seems no couple can last more than 15-20 years. Sometimes I ask, why bother? But other times, I wonder, "What if I'm part of the couple that makes it through?"

I'm the same way Forgottendreamr. I live very realistically but there's nothing wrong with still believing that life offers possibilities we just haven't experienced yet.

I love to believe in miracles! Fairy tales and "happily ever after" are what gives me hope. That magic still has to be out there. If only it will just drop a little pixie dust on me!

Never loose hope. I was very jaded after being in several awful relationships, violence, infedelity etc. I went out with friends to a night club and met a gorgeous guy who was as jaded as I. We agreed that relationships are for suckers and had a fab one night stand. Then another.... Now we are engaged to be married in march. It's like we are kindred spirits. All his "cute" habits have already become annoying (and I 'm sure vice versa)but we love eachother very much and have a deep understanding of one another. I feel very lucky to have found him and hope the same happens for all of you. Having a team mate in this life is the greatest gift, never give up hope, and be prepared to put up with the little things... It's absoloutly worth it :)

I know what you mean . It was my childhood dream to find my soul mate but now everyone is so pessimist about marriage that I started to swith to another opinion lately.Now adays I decide on not letting peoples negative speeche bother me. I stay hopeful as i was in my childhood. My short term goal is to find someone i can talk to freely and my long term goal is is to establish a greatr family .

hello this is mohammed yahyah from yemen and i would love to give some pieces of advice before getting maried. First of all, you should set short-term and a long-term goals. You have to sign up in any programm that provides information about problems before and after getting maried so that you will see what is good for you,.

why not sign up for dating club.

Keep hopingf. Life is full of suprises. Maybe one day you will find prince charming

hello i don't know what you talking about guys..

I agree with you EnglishMuffin. I will always dream and I will always believe in love. Thanks for the comments.

Keep the dream!<br />
<br />
I married young and divorced young.<br />
Then I re-married, have been for 16 years, have a great son, wonderful wife who I can trust and who knows she can trust me too.<br />
<br />
Love does work, it is out there.

I agree with userina. There are no guarantees about ANYTHING in life, including marriage. You grow, you change, and sometimes you have to move on alone. But hope and faith are always the best places to start, and, I believe, give you the best chance at happiness.

Nice piece SeriouslyS,I've enjoyed it. Marriage in not an endurance competition. If a marriage ends in divorce it does not mean it was a failure. It worked for a while, maybe it was wonderful at one time, but then things change like everything else that I know in this life.There is no formula<br />
You are right to want to hope, you have life energy....

Will, you're repeating yourself. No more Kool-Aid for you. ; )

My pleasure......Also, for what it is worth regarding marriage, the road less traveled is not rocky. There is no substitute for experience. We all learn that as we move along....

Agreed Will. And there's much to learn. I may not have enjoyed all my experiences have taught me, but I don't regret them either.<br />
: )

My pleasure......Also, for what it is worth regarding marriage, the road less traveled is not rocky. There is no substitute for experience. We all learn that as we move along....

Good point Will. Thanks for commenting. : )

We ALL want to be a 'hopefull' romantic. It depends upon whose eyes we are seeing through, ours or someone else's.

Saving, I know exactly what you mean...lol. Maybe they'll be the ones to get it right. : )<br />
<br />
ZZZ, I'm sorry you're feeling sad now, but I understand. I'm glad you still believe. : )<br />
<br />
Tuboshu....congratulations! Hold onto your faith. : )

so am I .<br />
i and my hubby have no engagement, no wedding ,no rings...we just registered.<br />
all we have is the faith of being together till death apart us.

10 years I ment to say at the top

Well I have been divorced once from a relationship that lasted 10 and two kids <br />
and I just left my partener 4 days ago of six years and 1 kid....<br />
<br />
Now before I go any further... I am a hopless romantic and I believe my bigest problem is I just pick the wrong kind of partener.. <br />
<br />
I still believe in love and marrage. And romance, I have to... becasue I live for that, and other things I surpose... the problem is to find somone who also valuse it as much.<br />
<br />
I just need to find that one who is as passionate as me