Because of Dad

My name is Jennifer Johnson.  I live in Indiana with my chihuahua, Miracle.

  Five years ago, my father, Peter, died of esophogeal cancer.  During the last few months of his life, he and my family received hospice services.  It was during that time that I feel God placed the desire in my heart to work with other families in similar circumstances.

  When my father died, my feelings and emotions about the situation completely shut down.  As it is in life, you can ignore something, but that doesn't mean it will necessarily go away.  My feelings about my father's death never did go away.  When they would start to surface, I would deal with them by numbing them out with drugs and alcohol.  I can't begin to describe the hell that lifestyle brought about.  To be able to sit here and write this now is truely a miracle from God.  When God put the desire to heal in my heart, it amazed me that not only did He want me to deal with the greif and loss of my father, but He also wanted me to embrace it and use it to help others.  The one thing I have been running away from all of these years is the one thing God has chosen to be my life's work.  He truely does work in mysterious ways.

  So many people have questioned me about the depressive environment of my future endeavor.  The only thing I can say is that, in my experience, people who are dying are the most beautiful and spiritual people I have ever met.  I know they will be helping me in my journey of healing far more than I will ever be helping them. 

My father always wanted a log cabin in the woods of Maine.  He didn't live long enough to experience that.  But one day I would like to own a log cabin on a lake in Maine, and turn it into a not for profit respite center for adults who are experiencing terminal illness.  I want it to be a place where families can gather, without any cost to them, to just spend some time together and create lasting memories.  For now, this is a pipe dream.  I am hoping that my experiences with hospice will better prepare me for whatever lies ahead.  Thank you for listening!

miraclesmom miraclesmom
1 Response Mar 7, 2009

Thank you so much for sharing! Hugs, LW