Revelation ...

today i found a list of all the things she intends to take with her. i also found two different budgets, one for her and her apartment and one for me and this house we have lived in for 15 years. on top of all that there was also a custody arrangement, handwritten by her, that states, joint custody, no child support, kids can stay with me or move with her to her and her alcoholic sisters new apartment. it says days when they will be with her and days with me. it goes on to talk about insurance situations and the plan for those. i am crushed. this is like a dream to me, but i know i am awake. after my accident i could not go back to a job that almost cost me my life, so with her support i started school. i am unemployed with school responsibilities and home duties. if she leaves there will be nothing except what unemployment has to offer and possibly some student loans that i could get. the level of compassion she has is nonexistent. originally when this began she told me i would keep the boys and she would visit them a lot. now it has turned to this twisted part time parent thing. i am not cool with this. my heart aches, my blood pressure is high and i am lost ...

grogorthox grogorthox
31-35, M
3 Responses Feb 26, 2010

well said truecurious,you are here among people who have been down these tough roads and can help you through this,i don't know how your state works but the non custodial parent has to pay child support unless the custodial parent declines,and being that you are trying to go to school,maybe you guys can reach a compromise till you graduate....your among friends here we will help anyway we can

thank you , i am trying ...

Having faced a lot of these challenges myself several years ago i will give you the best advise i learned.<br />
1) Never say any thing bad to the children, it is their mother and will only hurt them in the long run.<br />
2) Don't focus on the past or try to figure out why this is happening, challenges pop up in our lives all the time, if you stay strong and focus years from now you will shake your head and wonder why you were ever with her in the first place.<br />
3) Surround yourself with people that will help you to focus and be positive, bitching about how bad she is and how hard done by you are wont change a thing.<br />
4) Draw strength from the fact that your children need you now more then ever.