Not Waiting Anymore...

tonight happened to be the night. i came home from school, after having a rather pleasant day there, to the realization of my wife and our problem. trying to convinve myself everything would be back to normal upon arrival only brought about the difficult reality of how grim this is. not feeling to delightful, i used my foot to open the door, which set her on defense. trying to explain how i got to this place in my mind only infuriated her. in turn, her anger did not ease my pain any and i tried once again to plead for my relationship. it is funny how when i am silent there is silence, but if i speak there is anger. neither of us have any room to budge. she wanted to leave and i wanted her to stay. she began the process of taking her effects out to her jeep and i continued my platform of " please stay "." there is nothing left", she assured me. i continued to ask her to stay while the kids cried in the background and she yelled and cussed at me. such an incredible turn of events over the past 3 months, i am shocked still it even came down to this. now it is too late. she is really gone and the boys and i are now left to pick up the pieces and continue on. it will be difficult, but i assured them with each others support we will make it. no quick fix here, just faith in our abilities to adapt. no time frame for recovery, only the assurance we will grow from this. i am making a plea to myself ... please, do not speak to her for several days. keep your mouth shut, she does not live here anymore and it will allow her and i to possibly cool off. the kids told me she planned on staying here for about another month or so, till she secured an apartment. she went to her mom's, who lives in the basement of her grandparents, who also has a 21 year old sister already there. i could not have endured another month of that torture anyway. february was bad enough, let alone prolonging my agony. now i am not waiting in limbo for her to decide when my agony ends.

grogorthox grogorthox
31-35, M
4 Responses Mar 2, 2010

my main focus is my boys. they are what is left of my family and we form the core four. we are strong together and will survive events yet to come...

Hold your head up high. you are raising your children alone not many people would do that.Concentrate on your goals for now and raising cildren and then she will see you can make it on your own. And then who knows? Praying for you and your family.

thank you :)

not talking to her is a good startegy if you can,reading your story it seems she feeds off what ever you say.i think their is an anger in her and this maybe the only way to deal with it,so don't give her the benefit of feeding off your feelings of loss....always here if you need to talk