Positive Update

Hello group, i wanted to share my story to say there is hope:) when i came to this website a few weeks ago, i came in search of some answers not understanding why i was in a sexless marriage. i had written my story that i deleted a few days later. it went something like this: i felt i was in a sexless marriage practically since i got married, i taught i was fooled since he was the best performer and then sex disappeared.i felt like i wanted a divorce, i didn t get into a marriage to divorce but yet i was not able to accept this situation. married for 3 yrs and 2 kids. the story was longer and more detailed.. i didn t get it, i even taught many crazy things not understanding why we had become this way. many readers mostly pointed out that its all about looks and going to the gym.. i taught the point was valid but after long reflection, it was BS.. i remembered all the excuses... the kids, the bed is not comfortable, i smoke, too tired,work hard, too stressed and the list went on. i deleted my story after a few days and this is the reason why.. i was on the computer and my husband caught me with this website , he asked what i was doing and i said well this is our story, he picked up the computer read it stayed in shock, was totally discusted and then said well just for this i will divorce you and he threw the PC at me in a savage way.
2-3 days no speaking at all, we barely made eye contact and never stayed in the same room more than 30 seconds.. i was ready to go.. looking for real estate agents and divorce advice, my mind was made.. i would say i was very serious ... after a few days i think my husband taught about what happened. i bought a bottle of wine and we both knew it was time to really talk. i had erased that 1st story thinking i would say it was someone else's and that the story was very similar to our lives. Finally when the conversation took place i told him the truth and i asked him all the details why does he think we became brother/sister relationship.. basically all his answers were vague , he didn' t really know or maybe he didn't truly want to open up totally, but i did my part and i had told him all the escalations that i had noticed, how he had hurt me and where i was heading with the routine that had settled in our lives.. i was very satisfied with the discussion, he was so apologetic and promised that he would change the areas of improvement... i 'll get into all the details and outcome maybe some other time.. but what i wanted to say is that since that day every night and day have been very special , the closeness is incredible, the patience is improved , smiles , the days are better, and yes we are back having sex every single day and night.. its crazy that after that discussion and making love , all my problems disappeared.. it s like i never suffered at all, it was all a bad dream!! i wanted to write a little about this to the readers, since i know i was looking for a happy ending in your stories, and i mostly found get a divorce, go to the gym or better yet live in a sexless marriage.. My naughts are that if both, the refuser and the refused want the same thing , being happy together , it will succeed. Be honest at all cost and try your best. i wish you luck to all and myself:) and thanks again to all you guys/gals for sharing , it truly opened my eyes that i was not alone in a situation i felt ashamed about.
sincerely,
V.
val36 val36
36-40
Jul 28, 2010