Having A Blast With My New Gf

I am going through a divorce now from my wife of 7 years. Ive lived in a sexless marriage for the better part of 5 years now. My wife was having an emotional affair with an ex bf from highschool, for the last 8-9 months and decided she would rather be with him. I have a great relationship with my gf and the sex is amazing. I used to have to fight for sex tooth and nail and by then it was never worth it. I finally have someone who wants it as much as I do, 3-4 times a day everyday and it only seems to go more and more. I love sex she loves sex and we love each other!
handoveryourheart handoveryourheart
26-30, M
5 Responses Aug 11, 2010

nice to hear a story with some hope in it. so far as i can tell people only get happiness back when they leave the marriage. i told my husband that i wanted a divorce tonight. after 10 years of marriage i just feel sad for both of us.

I do want to add that low-sex marriages don't necessarily mean either spouse doesn't like sex, especially if sex was great and frequent to start. It can mean many other things: the one not feeling sexy has not been getting much positive attention and affection from the spouse who expects sex while treating the spouse like an annoyance or someone not "good enough". It could mean high stress levels, health problems (example: medications, being overweight, being depressed) as well. I've been married 25 years, and both my husband and I have gone through all of the above. In other words sometimes I wanted more sex than he does and vice versa. The secret to great sex (which we didn't always figure out) turned out to be open communication. Now that we are open, if my husband is not interested in sex and I am, he doesn't say "nothing" when I ask what is wrong, he tells me, and it usually has to do with stress or exhaustion, things he used to think made him appear "weak" if he admitted them. Because I don't get miffed and cause more stress, by the next day, we're usually back on track. Sounds simple, isn't it? Why is it so hard???? During one spell, where I had lost interest, once I told my husband I didn't appreciate his sarcastic comments and needed more positive feelings of love and he changed his rude behavior, suddenly I wanted more sex with him, more than we can fit in without skipping work. Obvious, right: treat your spouse like you really love them and you'll notice that they start getting more turned on. My husband went through a lot of physical pain, even needing pain pills, and luckily during that stage he explained to me that the doctor warned him that the pain pills might zap his libido, because then I understood why he wasn't interested for those 6 months and didn't take it personally or think he had lost interest forever. There are many other medications that can do that, and gaining weight can really zap a libido as well. Sounds so simple to try to find solutions to the problem, but for some reason, we can be so stupid and we make a judgement without trying to find the solution. So, before you or your spouse decides that one of you just doesn't like sex, try other things first: try finding more romantic time, try easing stress (like full-body massages), try helping the person lose weight, try alternatives to current mediation, switch doctors until you find one that will take your loss of libido issue seriously, try to assess whether or not the uninterested one is depressed, etc. In other words, don't write them off, use your ability to love and care and see what you can do, even if they tell you they don't like sex. At least a counselor can help them figure out why and might be able to fix it.

High 5.....Awesome...3 to 4 a day...wow....

I sure wish that you and I could trade lovers. Mine has the sex drive of a box of rocks. I keep asking myself why? I am glad that things worked out for you. Enjoy!

As an old fool with a lot of experience, I can say this: There are women who like to have sex and there are those who do not. I can't guarantee anything, but I'll bet that your ex's new/old relationship doesn't last long either, unless that other dude is a eunuch. Just keep the lines of communication open with your new lady, don't let things get in a rut. Go ahead and try to wear out your genitals-trust me you will have good memories and no regrets. Sleeping in the wet spot has its rewards....