Why Punish Me Cause You Dont Need It?

Been married for almost 22 years now. Have one child, a son. First few years were great, maybe first 5. She had a total hysterectomy shortly after our son was born, a year after we married. Since, our sex life has gone down hill. Do you know how its like to go 3, 6, 8 months, sometimes a year with out sex with your spouse? She has no desire anymore and it makes me think that because "she" has none, that neither should I. When we do have sex, its boring, same thing every time. No adventure, not experimenting. The rest of the time its like I live with a room mate that I just happen to sleep next too. I love touching, being touched. I love oral sex, LOVE giving it.. but it takes months before it happens, why make an effort when she wont. Am " I " the one who's selfish? Use to think that. Have we ever talked about it, no. I wouldn't know how to start a conversation like that. How does one say, "I realize you have no desire anymore but why do you punish me for it too?" I'm done complaining for now.. thanks.
EB59 EB59
51-55, M
3 Responses May 14, 2012

How do you servive? I'm engaged in a 3 yr relationship with 2 kids and the sex has already died greatly. about 2 weeks of no sex from her and I'm getting head elsewhere.

Hi,<br />
<br />
I am in almost exactly the same situation. I've been married for twenty years though with three kids. The first ten were great. But, intimacy has all but left my marriage. We went from normal sex to once a week, to once every two weeks, to now maybe once a month and then its almost angry like, "hurry up and get this over ... I don't want to be doing this." Geez, who wants to have sex like that? Always in the dark, shirts on... least you get oral sex once in a while. Me, forget it. And she doesn't want me to give it either. I don't understand...why/how does this happen? I try to be romantic but she's never ever intersted. I become more resentful every day. Don't want to leave till kids are out of school. Four more years. Not sure I can take it.

yep the title says it all for me..... i ask my self that many times,<br />
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why treat me bad when i have done nothing to you ...<br />
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my refuser, nows trys to find other ways to treat me badly since he has found out i dont really care to have sex with him anymore ( got tired of asking ) <br />
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he now contradicts nearly everything i say....i feel like asking him ..... do i need to stop talking to make you stop contradicting me ?<br />
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like i stop asksing for sex ??!!! so then u would not refuse me ?