So Tired Of Waiting

I long for the languid afternoons of holding one another and enjoying the afterglow of shared passion. That hasn't happened in years....I am tired of waiting for such an event in my life.
I can't recall the last time she initiated intimacy. When we first met I was concerned my libido was MUCH less than hers..... I am tired of wanting to feel wanted, desired, and the focus of sexual desire.
What ever happened to the passion and romance? Those lingering kisses, the mischievous touch, the suggestive wink and smile from my wife are but dim memories of days gone by. I am tired of waiting for her to do more than just say "I love you".

The list of physical constraints; "My ______ hurts (select one: neck, shoulder(s), back, hips, arms, hands, feet, stomach, head) Then there is "I am on my period", "I am stressed", "I am too tired", "We don't have the time". Add to these the real game killer of "Okay if you must." and then there is "I don't care for sex in the morning", "I am busy with _______ "in the afternoon, and "I am too tired" in the evening, and I am in a sexless marriage. I am tired of being patient, understanding, compassionate, tender and supportive. I am tired of waiting for the woman I married to return to my life.

She tells me she loves me, and does the mechanical things of marriage (cooking and cleaning) yet there is nearly ZERO, passion, romance, or lust in this marriage of mine. She will not see a physician for the physical ailments, declines marriage counseling and assures me the problem with physical intimacy is not me or my approach to her. She asks I be patient and not pressure her (sic: ask for sex). I am so tired of waiting.

I think of having an affair then again I it would likely be selfish, self serving not to mention fundamentally dis honest. On the other hand I am a healthy guy, and want much more out of a marriage than someone to cook and clean for me....I did that before entering into this marriage and can do that for myself. ************ is an option but no substitute true physical and emotional intimacy.
I am tired of waiting for fulfillment in this marriage. I am tired of waiting for a fully complimentary, synergistic, dynamic and engaged marriage. A marriage that includes emotional and physical intimacy. I do not want a live in cook, house maid, room-mate. I am tired of waiting for a marriage, the marriage we had agreed MUST include intercourse, passion, romance, with some spice of simple lust on a regular basis. I am tired of waiting to feel wanted, desired and needed as opposed to being allowed.
aucado54 aucado54
56-60, M
4 Responses Dec 1, 2012

I'm on the opposite side of the fence, in that I'm the woman who feels how you do, with a partner completely uninterested in sex.
I wish I could shed some light on the "why". I can only say that I do worry I'll live out the rest of my days missing out on such passions that you describe.
I NEVER thought I'd be in this situation, it's comforting yet saddening that it's so epidemic.
I find it so hard to fathom somebody NOT wanting intimacy.
I hope things resolve for you, one way or another and that you find that happiness...

thank you.

I understand your situtation. I am married but alone despite that presence which is also known as spouse. This is christmas morning and alone. The only company I have is this website and music.

thank you! I have the pleasure of GETTING to work today. I am not a hostage in a place of discomfort.

I so understand.

I couldn't agree more! I had a home, and everything else before we met, and just wanted to share a full relationship with the man I married. He just want s to go to work, pay his housekeeping, go out to play in his time off, and have me do all the other stuff (be his Mom). When I tried to get a sex life to be a part of this, he eventually told me he is leaving, and now sleeps on the sofa, so HE'S got what HE wanted, and my needs just don't exist. Isn't it awful when you love them, but need to move on, before they completely destroy you?