Reluctantly

Ok....here goes....got married....sex nearly every day....1 kid  and sex nearly 3 times a week.  By the 3rd kid I am now up to once per year...if I'm lucky twice!  Always on the anniversary...nice present.  Have tried to talk about it but it goes nowhere...get the same old  "It's not that I don't want to"  and "I was traumatized by hearing my parents do it and I don't want my kids to be".....and on and on.  Except for this she is a wonderful wife....just don't know what to do.....I could go every day but would even settle for once a month.  It's getting so bad that after 14 years of marriage I am considering finding someone who just wants to have a brief thing...along the lines of the Alan Alda Movie....Same Time Next Year.  Watch it if you haven't seen it...very appropriate.  Anyway, that's my story....I know it's not very thorough on the specifics but if anyone has advice I'd love it.  Thanks.

senseless senseless
51-55
4 Responses Feb 26, 2009

Thanks Heidistelzig....I have tried that, and will continue to try and make her feel sexy and wanted. I guess it works both ways because I certainly have not felt very wanted or attractive to her...at least that's what I feel like. Although cheating has seriously crossed my mind and actually was an option at one point with someone at work I stopped it before it got to that point. I don't think I could go through with cheating while still married and if I'm still married there must be a reason why I stay. I do love her and want it to work.

Cupcakeuniverse you are right and when I am able to convince her we will talk to a counselor. I had considered hormones as well. It's been almost 9 years since our last kid so it is somewhat unlikely due to the kids. Thanks for the comment and suggestion...it is appreciated.

Would your wife consider going to counseling with you? I really think that two of you need it. Otherwise, she needs to go on her own. Its very possible too, that after children, her hormones may be very different. I still think counseling is the best bet.

Would your wife consider going to counseling with you? I really think that two of you need it. Otherwise, she needs to go on her own. Its very possible too, that after children, her hormones may be very different. I still think counseling is the best bet.