We just spent 3 weeks on a private beach in a beautiful beach house. No sex the entire time. Wtf? I am 32 years old, my wife is 30. I am way too young to be going to a secluded beach and not getting any. We connect on so many levels, we love each other very much, but no sex... Ever! I don't know how much longer I can handle this. She keeps talking about getting a new birth control, why? what for? we don't have sex! She is not cheating on me, at least I know that much. I am just way too confused about all of this.

brandonmr2 brandonmr2
9 Responses Feb 28, 2009

Men and women view sex in two different ways. I will try to explain it. Men like sex, just for the sake of having sex. Women (most) do not have sex, they make love. For a woman to stop having sex altogether it can be a physical problem. For example, does she have endometriosis? This is a condition that develops inside the vagina, and makes sex very painful for her. If she does have a physical female issue she may be embarrassed to tell you. Another sex killer is depression. Trust me, I know. I suggest that you talk to her in a very loving way. Tell her that no matter what the problem is you will get through it together. Do not insult or tease her. Something is going on and I feel for your wife. If you cannot get to the core of the problem on your own, tell her you love her too much for this to become a major issue, and would she please go to a marriage counselor with you. She must feel that you are on her side, no matter what happens. This will give her the confidence to open up her heart to you and seek help. By the way, please do not talk to her the way you posted your problem. She will only close up more and you will get nowhere at all. Remember she is your partner in life. Whatever she is going through, trust me, she needs to know that you will always be there for her. I wish you much happiness.

It will not get any better. No matter how much love and attention you give her she will use you as a provider and deny sex. She has a complete lack of respect for you. You cannot change her, she can only change herself, which will never happen because after marriage women see no need to change. Then the man is fed up and leaves and the woman plays the victim. Women WTF. LEAVE now, if you have no kids, leave yesterday.

My Advice..LEAVE.....

At age 35 for me and 32 for my wife, I feel the same way.<br />
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In the last 5 months, sex has happened once. I do all the cleaning and housework as well as working full-time as does she. I do the majority (vast majority) of watching our 3 year old son and yet she is the most tired and uninterest in sex. <br />
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As all the others will say about their marriages, it used to be great. Heck, I was feeling neglected when I only got it twice a week. Now that would seem like pagan excess!!!<br />
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I have no advice for you, as nothing will help. Wallow in our misery, friend.

I stayed because I thought it would get, more than a year later I'm mad at myself because it's not. It's worse than I ever thought it would get.

Maybe you could consider talking to her about it before followng the advice of mwforce.

Check out the Love Dare..via the DVD "Fireproof"..may sound corny, but give it 40 days...good luck.

Some forms of birth control do lower physical libido, but emotional love would overcome that. Keep being loving and she may turn a corner.

Sounds like me and my wife 15 years ago and guess what?Its still the same. <br />
My advice is get out especially if you don't have kids.<br />
She won't change believe me. You don't have issues its your partner. LEAVE!