Good to Know I'm Not Alone

I agree with chickadeedee but I'll be less judgemental: 3 years is a long time - you have pretty much had a sex-less marriage for half your marriage.



What you really need to decide is what is more important - bluntly : your sex-life or your marriage.



Many of us have made the choice to stay for children or other reasons. I personally would like to have sex outside too - but with my wife's consent in the context of an open marriage (so she can have sex with someone else too). This is not an admission that our marriage is a failure. It is an admission that our sex life is.



So far my wife will not accept that our sex-life is too bad - which is rather typical because she is the one who is the 'refuser'. We have some sort of sex (she initiates with little or no concern for my feelings or desires) perhaps every 3 - 4 months so it is not on the save level as your situation.



Nevertheless my point is you have to decide whether you want to stay married. If not, pack your bags and go. Your wife may not deserve you, but you shouldn't degrade yourself to the level of a deceitful cheat.