I have been in a sexless marriage for over a decade. My wife has gained weight, and lost her libido (it was never like mine even at the beginning). I am not interested in sex w/her, but our relationship is loving, generally respectful, and we have a family.

My wife knew I needed to get my needs met, so she allowed me to go outside of our marriage. The usual spectrum of rub and tug, prostitutes, etc was generally OK, but somewhat unfullfilling. I am tall, athletic, good looking, and I felt that I could do better.

Found a mistress several years ago. Beautiful (drop dead gorgeous), fun, and in need of money. It was fine at first, but she fell in love and then I did, yet we both knew it would never work given the circumstances. My wife found out and was devastated that I had such an intimate, serious relationship. However, I told her I never had any intention of leaving (true). I came clean (finally), and ended the relationship w/the mistress cuz I just couldnt handle it anymore.


I miss the mistress, but am relieved its over. I think I'll stick to pros for awhile. Interested if anyone has had a similar experience--I havent read the experiences yet.

kozmo1 kozmo1
46-50, M
3 Responses Dec 20, 2009

I need to know..........does your wife still accept you going outside of the marriage for intimacy?<br />
Did you ever end up in counseling with your wife about the whole mistress affair? Was it simply swept under the rug? If this didn't prompt some type of serious dialogue between you and your wife, you might as well pack it in brother. You're simply living with your College dorm mate.

Hey bud. I just posted a similar experience excpet i am still not over my M. My wife doesnt know. Read what I wrote and let me know if you want to correspond.

Damn<br />
<br />
Married people depress the hell out of me