Me Too

I am 50, am not overweight, and work two jobs.  I do not drink, smoke, or do drugs.  She is a couple of years younger. She has a good job as well. We have one daughter who is now in college. We have everything materially we need, and most everything we want. I bust my #$% on a pretty regular basis to make sure that we don't struggle financially.

This has gone on for years.  In the morning, its too early. At night, its too late. Any other time, she may be tired, sick, or her (fill in the blank with any body part) hurts. Now, this never seems to be a problem when she wants to go work out with her (MALE) trainer, or go hang out with her friend who loathes her husband. Now in fairness, he is having an affair and is flaunting it in front of his wife.  But I am NOT! (Well, not yet, anyway.)

If I try to talk to her about this, its a fight. She tells me I'm not "romantic" enough. How in the hell are you supposed to be "romantic" when all you ever hear is no, stop, quit, don't?  I have NEVER forgotten a birthday, anniversary,  Christmas, Valentines Day, Mother's Day, ANYTHING.

We went to counseling once. As long as he was focusing on me, everything was great. As soon as he turned to ask her about our sex life, she didn't want to go anymore. Her response was..."he's looking at this from a (expletive deleted) man's perspective." 

I am miserable. I am tired of living like this.

notluckyntn notluckyntn
46-50, M
2 Responses Mar 14, 2010

Meh, tell her to stop asking so sinister. You've been working just as hard as she has. Your the man of the house, therefore, you have the power to make people obey your every command.

Have you asked her directly if she is seeing other men? She might be justifying it as you are never around because of the second job.<br />
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I think you need to go back to counseling and/or have a major discussion together. If she does not want to be married to you, then you need to get out of there.