I Am a Hypochondriac
I have been a hypochondriac for a very long time, but it has recently gotten much worse. When I was in middle school I had chest pains and would think I was having a heart attack. I had an EKG done, and they found nothing wrong with my heart. I really believe that is when my disorder began.
Since I started college, things have gotten progressively worse.
So far....
- I was convinced I either had a brain tumor or was going to have an aneurysm due to bad headaches. I had an MRI done, and they found nothing wrong. After that, my headaches disappeared. If I could have it my way I would have an MRI or CT scan of my brain once a year.
- I have been convinced that I have early onset Alzheimer's.
- I was having severe fatigue and was convinced I had cancer or HIV. I got blood work done and an HIV test. Everything was fine other than slightly low Vitamin B levels.
- My heart rate has recently become slower (due to increased exercise I assume). Sometimes it's as low as 55 bpm. I am convinced that I have something wrong with it. I am going to see a cardiologist soon. I know it seems ridiculously irrational because a low heart rate is a sign of being healthy and in shape, yet it can also be a sign of abnormally low blood pressure...
- This lower heart rate made me go through a period where I was so afraid that my heart was going to stop in my sleep that I wouldn't be able to fall asleep in the first place...I tried seeing a psychologist but didn't get up the courage to go to the second appointment.
- If I have a pain in my lungs, I immediately have the urge to have a lung cancer screening.
- I have had foot pain, and saw a podiatrist. I have heel spurs, so at least I know I wasn't making that pain up.
- I saw a chiropractor for a long time due to back pain which was also real (lower spine is too curved inward).
- My periods have been very irregular, so I'm convinced I have some sort of cyst or something more serious.
- I have been having very bad muscle fasciculations in my right middle finger (50-60 a day) for over a month. It could be nothing but I'm convinced something is wrong with my nervous system. I am going to see a neurologist soon.
- Now I have had pain near my appendix for three days. I am scared that something is wrong but I'm also wondering if it's more psychological than anything. I'm going to the doctor in the morning.
The fear has gotten out of control. I think it's due to the fact that as I've gotten older, I've realized how fragile the human body is, and also how short life is. I've had a dog for 4 years now, I I think that is another reason I'm so scared of getting sick and dying. She depends on me and I can't stand the thought of her not having me around. As a side note, I have tried anxiety medications and they only give me MORE anxiety! I woke up in the middle of the night sweating, heart racing, and didn't know where I was. Being on medication just makes me focus on the side effects and I end up thinking it's going to make me have a heart attack, blood clot, etc...I want to prevent myself from getting sick, so anytime I feel a pain or feel weird I want to go to the doctor. I used to smoke cigarettes and quit cold turkey because I was afraid of the cancer and heart attack risks. I have cut back drinking to once every few months. I've changed my diet and exercise more. I know these are all good changes but I'm only 23 and it seems a little ridiculous to be worrying about all of these things but I just can't stop...
Since I started college, things have gotten progressively worse.
So far....
- I was convinced I either had a brain tumor or was going to have an aneurysm due to bad headaches. I had an MRI done, and they found nothing wrong. After that, my headaches disappeared. If I could have it my way I would have an MRI or CT scan of my brain once a year.
- I have been convinced that I have early onset Alzheimer's.
- I was having severe fatigue and was convinced I had cancer or HIV. I got blood work done and an HIV test. Everything was fine other than slightly low Vitamin B levels.
- My heart rate has recently become slower (due to increased exercise I assume). Sometimes it's as low as 55 bpm. I am convinced that I have something wrong with it. I am going to see a cardiologist soon. I know it seems ridiculously irrational because a low heart rate is a sign of being healthy and in shape, yet it can also be a sign of abnormally low blood pressure...
- This lower heart rate made me go through a period where I was so afraid that my heart was going to stop in my sleep that I wouldn't be able to fall asleep in the first place...I tried seeing a psychologist but didn't get up the courage to go to the second appointment.
- If I have a pain in my lungs, I immediately have the urge to have a lung cancer screening.
- I have had foot pain, and saw a podiatrist. I have heel spurs, so at least I know I wasn't making that pain up.
- I saw a chiropractor for a long time due to back pain which was also real (lower spine is too curved inward).
- My periods have been very irregular, so I'm convinced I have some sort of cyst or something more serious.
- I have been having very bad muscle fasciculations in my right middle finger (50-60 a day) for over a month. It could be nothing but I'm convinced something is wrong with my nervous system. I am going to see a neurologist soon.
- Now I have had pain near my appendix for three days. I am scared that something is wrong but I'm also wondering if it's more psychological than anything. I'm going to the doctor in the morning.
The fear has gotten out of control. I think it's due to the fact that as I've gotten older, I've realized how fragile the human body is, and also how short life is. I've had a dog for 4 years now, I I think that is another reason I'm so scared of getting sick and dying. She depends on me and I can't stand the thought of her not having me around. As a side note, I have tried anxiety medications and they only give me MORE anxiety! I woke up in the middle of the night sweating, heart racing, and didn't know where I was. Being on medication just makes me focus on the side effects and I end up thinking it's going to make me have a heart attack, blood clot, etc...I want to prevent myself from getting sick, so anytime I feel a pain or feel weird I want to go to the doctor. I used to smoke cigarettes and quit cold turkey because I was afraid of the cancer and heart attack risks. I have cut back drinking to once every few months. I've changed my diet and exercise more. I know these are all good changes but I'm only 23 and it seems a little ridiculous to be worrying about all of these things but I just can't stop...
By:
sickofworrying
Age:
22-25
