Sick Of Worrying...

I have been a hypochondriac for a very long time, but it has recently gotten much worse. When I was in middle school I had chest pains and would think I was having a heart attack. I had an EKG done, and they found nothing wrong with my heart. I really believe that is when my disorder began.

Since I started college, things have gotten progressively worse.

So far....

- I was convinced I either had a brain tumor or was going to have an aneurysm due to bad headaches. I had an MRI done, and they found nothing wrong. After that, my headaches disappeared. If I could have it my way I would have an MRI or CT scan of my brain once a year.

- I have been convinced that I have early onset Alzheimer's. 

- I was having severe fatigue and was convinced I had cancer or HIV. I got blood work done and an HIV test. Everything was fine other than slightly low Vitamin B levels.

- My heart rate has recently become slower (due to increased exercise I assume). Sometimes it's as low as 55 bpm. I am convinced that I have something wrong with it. I am going to see a cardiologist soon. I know it seems ridiculously irrational because a low heart rate is a sign of being healthy and in shape, yet it can also be a sign of abnormally low blood pressure...

- This lower heart rate made me go through a period where I was so afraid that my heart was going to stop in my sleep that I wouldn't be able to fall asleep in the first place...I tried seeing a psychologist but didn't get up the courage to go to the second appointment.

- If I have a pain in my lungs, I immediately have the urge to have a lung cancer screening.

- I have had foot pain, and saw a podiatrist. I have heel spurs, so at least I know I wasn't making that pain up.

- I saw a chiropractor for a long time due to back pain which was also real (lower spine is too curved inward).

- My periods have been very irregular, so I'm convinced I have some sort of cyst or something more serious.

- I have been having very bad muscle fasciculations in my right middle finger (50-60 a day) for over a month. It could be nothing but I'm convinced something is wrong with my nervous system. I am going to see a neurologist soon.

- Now I have had pain near my appendix for three days. I am scared that something is wrong but I'm also wondering if it's more psychological than anything. I'm going to the doctor in the morning.

The fear has gotten out of control. I think it's due to the fact that as I've gotten older, I've realized how fragile the human body is, and also how short life is. I've had a dog for 4 years now, I I think that is another reason I'm so scared of getting sick and dying. She depends on me and I can't stand the thought of her not having me around. As a side note, I have tried anxiety medications and they only give me MORE anxiety! I woke up in the middle of the night sweating, heart racing, and didn't know where I was. Being on medication just makes me focus on the side effects and I end up thinking it's going to make me have a heart attack, blood clot, etc...I want to prevent myself from getting sick, so anytime I feel a pain or feel weird I want to go to the doctor. I used to smoke cigarettes and quit cold turkey because I was afraid of the cancer and heart attack risks. I have cut back drinking to once every few months. I've changed my diet and exercise more. I know these are all good changes but I'm only 23 and it seems a little ridiculous to be worrying about all of these things but I just can't stop...
sickofworrying sickofworrying
3 Responses Feb 5, 2011

It is always good to know we are not alone...but it's still so hard to deal with!!! I know my mom is getting sick of me always freaking out, and I am sick of it too. I definitely think it's good to get things checked out if you have a legitimate pain or worry. Peace of mind usually helps a lot with the anxiety. I hope you feel better and find some way to manage the anxiety!!!

By the way, I was taking meds for my anxiety and I felt the same exact way as you did! I was feeling so sick thinking about the side effects that I actually had a panic attack!! ugh

Gosh, I feel the same way. I've gone to the doctor so many times, and I'm fine. I'm so worried that my family is just going to get fed up with me, because I already am. For the past 2 years I thought I had Lupus. Now I'm thinking about a brain tumor. Any little headache or dizziness will cause me to think that I do. Recently, I haven't been able to sleep. I wake up feeling anxious, and then of course my anxiety triggers me to have an upset stomach, and well that feeds into my thoughts of having a brain tumor. It's a vicious circle. I'm so afraid of not being able to stop feeling this way. <br />
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I do find some comfort though in knowing that I am not alone. For a longtime, I thought I was the only one feeling this way.