My True Marijuana-hypochondriac Drama

Dear all,

I have been a Marijuana smoker for the past 9 years. I smoke at least 7 to 10 blunts a day. I am an Asian female aged 27. I believe that weed does play with your psychosis to a certain extent and also the surroundings you have can spark Hypochondriasis.

My whole family knows I have been smoking weed and also cigarettes, oh and a weekly Alcoholic too. (Typical Signs of an Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, yes?) My mother who worries about me too much reminds me everyday that if I dont quit smoking I will form an unwanted disease. Time and time, day and night when I see her face at home she reminds me of how I need to change my lifestyle if I wanted to get married or have kids. So far I bought myself a car and I bought them a car, but my actions are never validated or appreciated because of the fact i still smoke, drink and all my bad things in my past have always been the highlight of my daily lecture. Sounds like typical parenting, OVER caring.

Besides that I also have the typical pressure from my Asian parents to excel very well in whatever I do. I have a stable job as a Project Manager, work with a big company and have a great boss (who also acts like a father figure and also reminds me to quit smoking). However work can also be stressful because his PA jz quit so now I have to practically follow my boss around like a dog, entertain important people, and prepare reports, finishing late at night. I am very dedicated to my job and whatever my boss needs, I take care of it (including helping him serve food he likes to cook when he brings guests over to his karaoke house for dinner. Yes we have a Karaoke house at his Penthouse office)

I have always suffered from sleeping disorder because my mind is always racing and cant stop thinking. I think, worry, stress and do feel anxious a lot. Previously I had seen the doctor about my sleeping disorder and they gave me sleeping pills. I was a student at that time and the pills were working great. I started to get dependent on it and soon they were getting to expensive to buy. Also the docs didn’t want to let me go on it for a prolonged period of time, obviously bcos of the addiction.

And that's the main reason why I started taking Marijuana- cheap, accessible and mainly so I can sleep soundly when I OD.

Lately, for a week I was feeling the worst spiky, poking pain at my upper abdomen, below my ribs. According to wiki, Hypochondrium is the upper part of the abdomen dorsal to the lowest ribs of the thorax. Exactly where my pains incurred. Finally on the seventh day I woke up with sweats twice in the middle of the night the poking pain was getting unbearable. i could hardly breathe and had to admit myself to the Emergency ward in the hospital the very next day, crying excruciatingly.

I stayed at the hospital for 6 days and they ran all sorts of tests on me, I had 2 SAME X-Rays done on my stomach and lungs, (done on the 1st day and 5th day) a pap smear, an Ultrasound, 4 runs of blood tests, put me on drips and all, even did an Endoscopy, and now due for a CT Scan and even a Colonoscopy (if I want).

DOCTORS FOUND NOTHING WRONG WITH ME AND ALL ORGANS FUNCTIONING NORMALLY.

I saw my Medical Report. It wrote very clearly at the top : Accute Hypochondriac.

But the Hospital team did not want to take that as an immediate answer, that’s why they referred me to the Surgical team and had all those tests. They supplied me with Antibiotics and Celebrax to numb the pain, some Omezole for Gastric. Told me to come back in 1 mth time to do a CT Scan, and 2 months time to see if the problem persists.

By the way, while I was in for 6 days, it was that rare time of my life where i could not and did not smoke any weed at all. But i did manage to sneak off for a smoke and had 1 or 2 cigarettes a day.

Because I had read my report, i was interested to find out what Hypochondriac meant. I never knew before this day what it meant and as soon as I reached home after being discharged from the hospital, I immediately looked up the Intertnet what ‘Hypochondria’ meant and tears immediately rolled down my eyes. What I read was true. It defined everything about me and my surroundings.

I realized that I shall from now onwards stop smoking weed all together and even cigarettes I don’t actually need and can live without.
Being in the hospital made me realize many things too, it made me think about my life and my future, as a female and considered greatly the consequences of prolonged Marijuana abuse.

I am saddened to find out that this is a samatoform disorder – meaning psychological. Meaning, it’s all in the head. Meaning, I shouldn’t stress so much and should take things easy.

After this I shall not bother with any CT scan and shall just look for a Psychiatrist who can help to ail my deeper problems rooted inside. I shall end my story with the note below :

According to Dr Henry Maudsley, he defines a Hypochondriac as, “Grief that finds no vent in tears make other organs weep”

I hope everyone out there who has this disorder know that there is always a cure. Good Luck to all of you..

The End
islalyera islalyera
26-30, F
2 Responses May 4, 2012

oh yeah, i am a crazy hypochondriac and while i do have some problems i know are real, things get blown way out of proportion with weed in me. When i smoke weed i believe i am dying of brain cancer, every time.

Your story moved me to tears. I experience the same pain in the same area. It's not an extreme poking pain, just a mild ache that flares up from time to time when my stress and anxiety are high. I too was a heavy marijuana smoker in my mid to late-20's and a heavy drinker for a couple of years in my late teens (legal drinking age at the time was 18). I did both to numb the pain of the depression resulting from an abusive childhood. I cut back on the drinking when I could no longer afford it and stopped smoking weed when my first husband left me for someone else and took all his connections with him. It never occurred to me that perhaps both the booze and the weed in my 20's could have played a role in my hypochondria in my 40's. Thanks for enlightening me.<br />
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I wish you well...good luck in your journey.