Ever Since I Can Remember

I'am a hypochondriac. it all started when I was about 7, I was watching tv with my father and a show was on about some kid dying from eating uncooked hamburger meat that scared me so badly i wouldn't eat any kind of meat for 6 years because i was convinced i would die from it because it wasn't cooked properly. the next thing i had a fear of was appendasitis , any pain at all in my stomach i would take panic attacks thinking i was going to die. then from there it went to cancer. last january, i was sick and had a swollen lymphnode behind my ear a little below my hair line and i had myself convinced i had cancer dispite everybody telling me i didnt, and that there was nothing seriously wrong with me, i kept feeling it over& over to the point where it actually became painful. any kind of lump or anything i cant explain i panic and automatically think i have cancer, i dont even like when people talk about cancer around me because it makes me nervous. im so sick of constantly worrying about something that might never happen, its pretty much the same as actually having it because the only difference is its all in your head. it doesnt help any that my mother is at high-risk for breast cancer and has to get almost constant exams& my close family friends son is 7 and has cancer. i can NEVER escape it. anybody else living in constant worry?
kyndrachristine kyndrachristine
18-21, F
2 Responses May 17, 2012

I share your fears of cancer. I don't know why I've become so fixated on it when the only family member to have the disease was my grandmother, and she was 84. Yet every little twinge in my body fills me with terror. Yesterday I spent the better part of the day obsessing over a small round bump inside my mouth that I never noticed before...it took a LOT of reframing (I've had plenty of CBT) to convince myself it's not oral cancer.<br />
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Health anxiety is tied closely to depression and general anxiety. Distraction works for me; being so busy you don't have time to think, let alone worry, works wonders. But sometimes the fear consumes you so much that even distraction is no help. I feel your pain and hope you eventually find peace.

its horrible ive had a fiew family members get it but they were all older , i go in and out of hypochondria sometimes its really bad and litterally takes over my life completely its all i think about, and sometimes i dont think about it at all but if i find a bruise on my body or lump thats it i go right into the state of mind where i think im dying of cancer which is rediculous, especially if i hear or read about somebody around my age either have it or die from it. another thing with me is if theres any little thing "wrong with me" i google the "symptoms" and start obsessing thinking i have like everything wrong with me. and i know distraction does work for me sometimes i try to never be alone because when im alone all i do then is think which in this situation is not a good thing at all. i hope you find peace too!

I feel your pain ( sorry for the pain thing, lol I have been a hypochondriac since I am a kid it runs in my family. If I hear of an illness that I may have some symptoms of, I obsess about it. If I worry about an illness then I randomly read about someone dying from it...I think it is an omen. Then I will have months even years with no worries...when one of these periods of hypochondria happens it can last months. I can tell you this is no way to live.

ive had it since i was really young too which makes it even worse &amp; im the exact same way, google is my worst enemy i swear it &amp; yeah ill go forever without even thinking about it and one random tiny thing sets me off and it takes over my mind for months at a time. and i completely agree it really is no way to live.