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Hypochondria Runs My Life

i have always had some sort of symptoms of anxiety/hypochondria....i can remember when iwas young, i mean like 5,6, or 7 years old, and thinking that i wasnt breathing right and then i would start to yawn and when i couldnt yawn correctly i took it as i was goingto have an asthma attack and quit breathing, although i have never had asthma.  later i realized from a kid in my 5th grade class that i wasnt breathing right because i was trying too hard.

time went by ad i still worried about the breathing and everytime i got a cold i actually "had" pneumonia but it still was not bad.  when i started to drive i kept thinking that i was going to get hit by a semi and die.....every time i would pass by a semi i would clutch the steering wheel so hard m knuckles turned white.  i still to this day have myworries about semis and it is hard for me to drive when they are around.

around the same time that i worried about the semis i also worried about toxic shock syndrome so i would never want to wear tampons.  every time i went somewhere when it was that time of the month all i could think of was like omg what if i leave it in too long and something happens.....nothindg did. 

i got pregnant and had the pregnancy worries but everything was fine but i did get hemmorhoids after that and "had" colon cancer.  this lasted for about 8 months.  all i could think of was that i had stage 4 colon cancer and the dr could do nothing for me.  turned out i was too stressed!  that took me to now

i currently worry about having a brain aneurysm/tumor with the emphasis on the brain aneurysm.  that is all i think about talk about....it is my life.  hypochondria has taken over my life in so many ways i no longer even know what i may be missing.  i have a young son and do not want him to get to the age where he realizes what im doing.......this is the worse disease!

cosmogirl4056 cosmogirl4056 18-21, F 7 Responses Jul 1, 2009

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Im healthy 23 yr old man. A little over 2 Yeats ago I sneezed hard an then got a sharp pain on the the left side of my head. It continued to pulse a few times for a couple minutes. Idoin no why but I instantly began to fear that I had a aneurysm. I was doing heavy weightlifting (which makes you hold your breath and strain aka valsalva maneuver) I saw the doc and explained my worries and he said i didnt need to worry. I eventually stopped worrying and forgot about it didn't feel it anymore.<br />
<br />
Well, about 3 months I had been realizing that i would sorta feel the same pain if I was straining to hard to poop or if i stooped over quickly. Then one day I sneezed hard again and had the same pain come back! A few days later a cough triggered it! It began to consume my thoughts. I began feeling the stabbing pains at random times. Other times it's triggered by stooping over or moving my head quickly a certain way.<br />
<br />
I even went to the ER and the dic understood my concerns, but he said you just dont hear about people getting anueysms from sneezing or other valsalva maneuver type actions, he said if it were really a danger you'd hear about it all the time. He offered me a CT scan but also said do I really wanna expose myself to the radiation for something that's most likely a fluke?<br />
<br />
I finally saw my refulat doc which was about a month ago. He had me do an MRI and he said it was negative. I asked him specifically if it showed anyerysm, tumor, chiari malformation, or carotid artery dissection and he said none of those!<br />
<br />
That really helped ease my mind and I've been living my life, but the thing is the condition is still there! A few weeks ago I was singing while in my car and after singing the same high note a few times I got the sharp stabbing pain again!!!<br />
<br />
I've never had any neurological symptoms, not numbness, no loss of motor function, nothing! Sometimes I feel totally fine, other times I have a dull ache/pressure in the left side of my head or my left cheekbone/temple area.<br />
<br />
This has changed mu life. I'm afraid to sneeze, even though I've sneezed and coughed dozens of times since then without triggering the pain. I always try to sneeze in a way that doesn't cause pressure in my head. I don't stoop anymore cuz I know it'll trigger the pain, I just bed my knees why I need to reach something. I keep baby aspirins with me an periodically take them if im getting the pain randomly.<br />
<br />
I wanna see another doc and have him check my MRI results or maybe get an MRI with the contrast dye. I just want my life back!!!!!! :(

Im healthy 23 yr old man. A little over 2 Yeats ago I sneezed hard an then got a sharp pain on the the left side of my head. It continued to pulse a few times for a couple minutes. Idoin no why but I instantly began to fear that I had a aneurysm. I was doing heavy weightlifting (which makes you hold your breath and strain aka valsalva maneuver) I saw the doc and explained my worries and he said i didnt need to worry. I eventually stopped worrying and forgot about it didn't feel it anymore.<br />
<br />
Well, about 3 months I had been realizing that i would sorta feel the same pain if I was straining to hard to poop or if i stooped over quickly. Then one day I sneezed hard again and had the same pain come back! A few days later a cough triggered it! It began to consume my thoughts. I began feeling the stabbing pains at random times. Other times it's triggered by stooping over or moving my head quickly a certain way.<br />
<br />
I even went to the ER and the dic understood my concerns, but he said you just dont hear about people getting anueysms from sneezing or other valsalva maneuver type actions, he said if it were really a danger you'd hear about it all the time. He offered me a CT scan but also said do I really wanna expose myself to the radiation for something that's most likely a fluke?<br />
<br />
I finally saw my refulat doc which was about a month ago. He had me do an MRI and he said it was negative. I asked him specifically if it showed anyerysm, tumor, chiari malformation, or carotid artery dissection and he said none of those!<br />
<br />
That really helped ease my mind and I've been living my life, but the thing is the condition is still there! A few weeks ago I was singing while in my car and after singing the same high note a few times I got the sharp stabbing pain again!!!<br />
<br />
I've never had any neurological symptoms, not numbness, no loss of motor function, nothing! Sometimes I feel totally fine, other times I have a dull ache/pressure in the left side of my head or my left cheekbone/temple area.<br />
<br />
This has changed mu life. I'm afraid to sneeze, even though I've sneezed and coughed dozens of times since then without triggering the pain. I always try to sneeze in a way that doesn't cause pressure in my head. I don't stoop anymore cuz I know it'll trigger the pain, I just bed my knees why I need to reach something. I keep baby aspirins with me an periodically take them if im getting the pain randomly.<br />
<br />
I wanna see another doc and have him check my MRI results or maybe get an MRI with the contrast dye. I just want my life back!!!!!! :(

Also I'm new to this and think I accidentally "disliked" the comment before mine, I've tried to change it but I can't :( I'm so sorry about that. If I did "dislike" it please let me know how to fix it, thanks :)

Yep exactly like me and it's so effing frustrating! Nearly everyday waking up feeling another lump or bump or headache that could be this or that. My doctors file is HUGE & I can't even tell you the amount of ultrasounds/X-rays I've had on every part of my body that I feel that something isn't right. I'm suffer panic attacks/anxiety because of this & the fear of one day ignoring something because id had enough of worrying & actually being diagnosed with something. I'm scared to get pregnant because I think A/ I'll no doubt suffer panic attacks everyday because I'll feel things I never have before and freak out and B/ how can I possibly raise a child when I freak out about every little thing?? Isn't a mother meant to be strong for her children? OMG this is such a debilitating thing to deal with.

I'm also a hypochondriac. I recently started therapy because I've accepted the fact that anxiety has run my life since I was a young child and that I've never really lived happily for a long period of time. Well, I don't want to live like this anymore. I'm not living. I'm just drifting day to day. It's not that I'm a loser or anything, I go to graduate school with a 3.6 GPA, am a tutor for undergraduate students in my field, I work part time teaching music lessons in my area, I eat right, exercise, recently engaged, but it's like I don't feel any of it is actually happening to me because of anxiety/hypochondriasis. <br />
<br />
I worry about my asthma when I've never even needed a nebulizer. When I first started graduate school, I thought I was going to have a nervous breakdown. I never have. When I was studying psychology for my BA, I thought I was going to become schizophrenic, or have borderline personality disorder, I don't have either. When I heard of someone having a food allergy and her throat closed and had to be rushed to the emergency room, I thought, that could happen to me. I haven't eaten new food without freaking out that it would hurt or kill me in years since I first heard that story. I have no food allergies though. A girl had a seizure in my class once, younger than me, and I thought I could have a seizure at anytime too. I never have.<br />
<br />
The latest scare could be potentially serious, but it's probably all in my head. I started experiencing loss of some, not all, sensation in my right cheek. In a few days it travelled down my arm and leg. I didn't feel how shower water the same on both sides of limbs. In the supermarket, I didn't feel as cold on one side than the other. I barely felt the wind on my right arms an legs when I walked around. This lasted two weeks. I have almost all the sensation back now. <br />
<br />
I went to the doctor right away when it was just my face, two weeks ago. She said it might be a minor case of Bell's Palsy. I immediately started to cry. I didn't know what that was, but I remember the kids I went to school with teasing kids calling them "palsy's." Terrible. <br />
<br />
After the symptoms spread, I went to the doc who took blood and said I should go see a neurologist. My blood work came back fine, but I am still worried. I had to get a brain scan to check for demyelination, basically MS and other horrible degenerative diseases which slowly take away your ability to move. I have been freaking out so much that I can barely eat. The neurologist i saw is on vacation and won't be back until next Tuesday when my appointment is when I find the results. <br />
<br />
I haven't eaten a meal in days. I went to the hospital for waist down leg weakness this past weekend, it turns out I had almost dangerously low potassium levels. I didn't even want to take the potassium pills they gave me because I didn't know what they were going to do to me. (I eventually took them). Even as I type and correct my mistakes, I think, oh, that's another sign that I could have MS, even though I know I don't have any serious symptoms! People with MS can't type, pick up a cup, walk up stairs, or even stand at times. They feel totally numb on both sides of their body, not one. I've experienced NONE of these things, but I still can't help but thinking the worst. <br />
<br />
I know my problem is hypochondria. It's eating away at my life. Last week when I went to therapy for the first time in years, I started getting more feeling back in my right foot. I realized it could all be anxiety. <br />
<br />
I put myself under a lot of stress. I was just finishing school for the summer semester, and started having a bad toothache. I don't mind getting my teeth cleaned, but I'm very anxious about getting cavities filled. I'm afraid that something will go wrong. Especially an allergic reaction to the novocaine. I was shaking by just thinking of getting another filling. I couldn't handle it. I think this brought on the loss of sensation in my face, arm and leg. <br />
<br />
I have a student who is a nurse who said they might have to check for MS. I know now that this was the seed that was planted and started my whole panic about MS. I've been seen by three neurologists including my appointment and the hospital. I've passed every test of strength, motor function, and eye movement/control. The attending neurologist said to me, "It's not that we don't believe you, that you're not feeling what you're feeling, it's that we can't find supporting evidence for it." This is AMAZING news. It took my therapist to really let it sink in and start to believe it. I still don't believe it though. Even if my brain scan comes back normal, I feel I will still be afraid of something happening, but something can ALWAYS happen, at any moment, and there's nothing I or anyone of us can do about it. I can't control the world. I can't live in fear anymore. I am going to be starting CBT, or cognitive behavioral therapy when I start school again in August, to help my with my hypochondriasis. I will even fight my fear of medication and go on something because I can't live like this anymore. I don't want to spend another day compulsively checking my behaviors as symptoms for life-threatening or serious diseases. We need to stand up against our fears and get help!!! We deserve to enjoy our lives. Ever second. Every minute!!!!

Wow, I have a headache tonight and brain aneurysm is exactly what's been on my mind! <br />
It's like when I hear about someone dying and how their "symptoms" of whatever were so simple, so common, it makes me freak out.<br />
Like, this guy at my college died of a brain aneurysm--he'd had a headache and laid down for a nap, and he died. So now, sitting here with a headache and feeling like sleeping, I'm scared.<br />
This drives me crazy.

that sounds just like my life