Any Minute Now... My Heart Will Stop..

Is Exactly What I Find Telling Myself 24/7!

I Suffer From Hypochondria.. And It  Sucks! I Constantly Find Myself Checking My Pulse All The Time!! Making Sure My Heart Is Beating "Normal"

It Mostly Has To Do With My Heart! Heart Attacks Scare The **** Outta Me!! I Lost Count On How Many Times I've Gone To The ER Thinking I Have A "Heart Attack." I'm A 20 Year Old Student. I'm Currently Working As An After School Tutor. I Get Paid Fairly Well, And Am In Good Physical Shape. My Life Is Going Perfect Right Now!... But Yet I Have All These Thoughts Lurking In My Head. I've Suffered From Anxiety Since I Was 12. I Was Always Freaked Out By Stuff I Saw In The News! Stories Like, "This 11 Year Old Boy Dropped Dead From Being Dehydrated This Afternoon At A Local School.' Then When It Was Time For Physical Education, I Would Feel Like I Needed A lot Of Water So I Wouldn't Dehydrate! .. Then From When I Was 13 To 18 I Was Anxiety Free!! No Symptoms, No Panic Attacks, Zip! Nada! Then Came December 31, 2009.. When I Got The Worst Panic Attack Ever! I Was Sitting Down Watching TV, Eating My Breakfast.. Calmly. Once I Finished I Started To Feel My Heart Beating Faster, And Faster. To The Point Where I Thought I Was Having A Full Blown Heart Attack! I Turned Pale, Couldn't Breathe, My Chest And Left Arm Were Hurting, My Palms Were Sweaty, And I Felt As If All Hope Was Gone. My Mom Called 911 Immediately. They Arrived Within 5 Minutes (Being That I Live Close To A Fire Department... Thank God). They Checked My BP And My Pulse. And They Looked At Me And Said, "Son, Are You Familiar With Panic Attacks?" I Said "Sure, I Suffered From Them When I Was In My Teens!". They Explained To Me That I Had One, And That There Was Nothing Seriously Wrong With Me, And They Wouldnt Harm Me In Any Way! Ever Since That Attack, I've Been Constantly Thinking About My Heart! Any Time I Feel A Weird Sensation, Or Pain Near My Chest Or Arm, I Automatically Think.. Heart Attack, Or Stroke, I've Been To The Doctor Countless Times Only To Be Told The Same Exact Thing You Always Hear When You Suffer From This.. "Theres Nothing Wrong With You!" But I Feel Like There's Something Wrong! Regardless Of What Anyone Says! I'm Tired Of Feeling This Way! I'm 20 Years Old For Crying Out Loud!!! I'm Not Even At The Legal Age To Drink! I Feel Like I'm Going Insane! Stuck In My Own Little World Infested By Diseases And Sicknesses! None Of My Friends Understand! And Some Call Me Crazy For Worrying About My Health So Much! Therefore I Feel Alone.. My Girlfriend Tries To Help And Feels Bad When She Can't Calm Me Down From A Panic Attack! But It's Hard To Explain My Symptoms And How I Feel Because She Wouldnt Get It. I Love Her And I Wanna Live To Be Happy With Her.. But This Feels Like A Long Term Goal That Won't Be Accomplished Because Of My Anxiety And Hypochondria. I Need Help, Someone..... Anyone... Please!

XinsaneX XinsaneX
18-21, M
11 Responses Mar 3, 2010

I almost feel the same way! I'm 19 years old and about 2 years ago I smoked this stuff called diablo an I thought I was having a heart attack! I was rushed to the er by my friend and when we got there they hooked me up to an EKG and the doctor came in and said everything is fine! You have healthy heart so he gave me some medicine to slow my heart rate and clm me down and sent me on my way. For about a year after that I have horrible anxiety I stayed in my house playing Xbox all day every day. I felt like my heart was bad I was dying that I was gonna have a heart attack or that my heart was gonna stop... Then my girlfriend helped me and my mom they told me I was okay and reminded me that the hospital said I was okay. So I started doing this I used to do before all this. I started hanging out with my friends again but till this day I have not drank nor smoked anything again. Now it's been almost 2 years since then and it's starting to come back! But this time it seems worse. Every day/night I am worried about my heart, constantly checking my pulse getting chest pains and feelin like I'm gonna have a heart attack... I need help! But idk what to do

I think im suffering from this as well...but im not sure.it all started when i was 12 or so...im 36 now.i would lay in bed at night and i had this sensation of needing to clear my throat all the time.somehow i attributed this to my heart.from that point on to this day ive had a range of wierd things happen to me from the occasional chest pain to full blown episodes of feeling like im "fading away".that would freak me out and id jump up and get my heart racing and pounding and it would pass.went through this every few monthes throught out my life.i also had 2 instances,once at the age of 22 and 24 where id have spells that lasted monthes.anyways,just recently i was at work one night i was getting this aweful "pinching" feeling in my chest.it came and went a few times a day.i was a heavy smoker until recently when these this started to scare me.i decided if it truly was a medical issue id better stop smoking so i did.the "pinching" stopped but i started having panic attacks cause my focus went to my heart alot more.anyways...ive been having these heart racing panic attacks and ive noticed that it feels like my heart isnt beating very hard.i have a bad habit of holding my breath and paying alot of attention to my heartbeat.i know it beating just because i can feel my pulse slightly in my fingertips or whatever.if i get startled or worry i palpitate like crazy.ive went online and looked up multiple heart disease symptoms like congestive heart failure and such and i show no physical symptoms of anything.somedays i do feel weak and groggy but i think its depression doing that.i havent been to a dr. and im really afraid to go.i dont want him to say "welp...theres nothing we can do for you".ive read alot(even here) about panic causing it to feel like you literally have no heartbeat.it seems if i try not to pay attention to my heart it feels like its beating a little harder.i guess i shouldnt expect ppl to feel sorry for me unless i get the courage to have it checked out.anyways..thats my story And i just wanted to share it.

I just googled this to see if anyone has the same problem.<br />
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I'm suffering from anxiety but I can't go to a doctor. I've been to the doc maybe 2 times my whole life. it seems to be getting worse. Biggest fear is heart just stopping. Sudden adult death syndrome I think it's called. Convinced that will kill me. It's become worse recently and it causes terrible anxiety. Alcohol is the only way I can relax and sleep.<br />
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I have never told anyone about this and i continue to operate this whole time. my dad died of cancer last year and I feel I can't go for help as my family will find out. They've dealt with so much already and I can't ask for help with a problem in my mind

every few months I have a this happen: my heart begins to feel like it's shutting down and begins to flutter and beat very rapidly, which also causes chest pain and a "squeezing" feeling around my heart area. I then experience very bad shortness of breath and sometimes begin to sweat uncontrollably. Then my pulse gets so soft and it can't even be felt sometimes. One time this "attack" caused me to urinate out what felt like all the fluid in my body, probably went 5 times in 20 minutes which caused my hands and feet to lose blood and turn completely blue. That incident caused my ex gf to drive me to the ER where my resting heart rate was over 120 bpm. I really thought I would die. He recommend immediate follow up which I never have done because of not having insurance. I just had it happen again tonight, and it scares the s*** outta me.

oh my god i am the exact same ******* way<br />
to the T<br />
I had severe panic disorder when i was 12 and 13 and they didnt come back until I was 20 BOOM! And thwey havent gone away and I turn 23 in three months. It scares the **** out of me thinking that they are here stay.

I suffer from really bad Anxiety and am a bad Hypochondriac. The Hypochondria makes me feel depressed all the time, and I am now not sure whether it is simply the Hypochondria that makes me think and feel Bi-polar of if I actually am. My doctor says it is a mixture of mental health problems, and that it is a vicious circle going on. I have had this all my life, for as long as I can remember (depression came in early teenage years). <br />
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Every day I fear dying. Cancer, loosing my hair, my teeth falling out, loosing my boyfriend, getting ran over, being in a car crash, the house burning down. It gets so annoying, and sometimes seems so silly, but I really can't help it. It has brought on so much stress, has gotten in the way of my life. I have never had a job as every time I go to my first day, or even sometimes interview, my anxiety gets the better of me and I have a panic attack.<br />
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My anxiety has recently been playing up really bad, as I keep thinking I am having heart pains, and its getting daily. Also I have recently felt a lump on the back of my head, lower right down from my ear. It sort or tingles when I rub it.. but does it? Is it even a lump?! Lol do you get what I mean, I don't want to seem silly, on the contrary I don't want to have a brain tumor and die! :( <br />
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I am healthy with my eating, I love fruit and vegetables. However I am a party girl, I like to go out and drink. I smoke, have occasionally done drugs throughout my teenage years. I do not want to be frowned upon for this. I have a brilliant fiancé, a lovely home together and I am only 19. My upbringing was tough, which resulted in me not being happy with myself, and the way I felt. I know that the chemicals and partying really didn't help, however none of my other friends suffer. (I am not a drug addict and I do not use any hard drugs).<br />
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I am going to go to a doctor and work towards building up a better lifestyle. I have set up CBT, (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy) and am now going to look in to getting some sessions with a psychologist. I hope that the heart pain and lump on my head is only placebo or my mental problem causing me to think it is happening so much it becomes realistic. I guess it could be like a Phantom pregnancy... I don't know. It has made me feel better writing this, and knowing that maybe someone might understand where I am coming from, and not judge me. My main goal is to marry my love of my life, buy a nice house, have children and be happy :)<br />
Thanks for reading :)

hi guys, i have the same sorta stuff. im 19 and sufer with major anxsity. ( bad spelling I think) anyways, its been lke this since I finished school about 8 months ago. I'm kinda adicted to any kind of fizzy drinks so I think thats what sometimes causes the pain under my left breast, trapped wind? Tell mum but she just tells me to get a life. I do worry about my health, as I get older I learn more and i'm aware more of the bad things that can happen to people. my breathin is slow today and the pain hurts. I suffer with dizzyness too, for 2 yrs now. Doctor says its in my neck, GP says vertigo, I'm havin physio, not really sure if its helping a great deal. I love photography and wanna go places like London, as its on 45 mins on the tube, and I dont want the worryin to stop me. wont happens if my heart stops. Or i get too dizzy, I saw a program last night, this guy died of heart falure at 20yrs old. 1 yr older than me. now im even more scared. my heart feels like its slowin down. i'm sure its traped wind thats hurting as that can be painful and the anxity is whats causing me to think i have every thin under the sun. any 1 get what i'm tryna say. xmas is soon and I dont wna worry like this. I used to be so carefree. Help. ! ( shona91@live.co.uk )

Same here :(

I just wanted to say how much your story touched me. I'm 30 yrs old and have had this for about 10 years now, so I know exactly what you are going though. I've been to the e.r. too many times to count over these 10 years too and every time I thought I was having a heart attack too! It's just really awful because people don't understand, and if you are anything like me, you don't understand all the time either! I smoke and I'm overweight, which makes me more worried about my health, but then I smoke and eat in order to deal with the anxiety, so I'm like a hamster on a wheel sometimes! <br />
But I did want to share with you that a few years ago I was hoping and praying for a new job, one that would actually pay my bills. I finally got a job at a local hospital and I was terrified! I couldn't imagine working in a hospital and seeing all these sick people and just hearing about the things wring with them etc..But the $$ was too good for me to pass up, so I became a secretary on the cancer ward, after my mom had just won her battle with cancer and almost died in the process. Needless to say, my anxiety was a little higher than usual for awhile after I started there because of all the things that I saw and heard. It was almost as if I was forced into facing my worst nightmare! Oh, what we'll do for $, lol! But I've been there for 3 years now and I've seen so many people get sick. Some get better, some die. Some are old, some are young. Some have lived healthy lives, others not so much. And as I was processing this, I realized something....we are NOT in control! I don't know if you're a spiritual person, but honestly, this understanding has helped me immensely! We do not know what the future holds for us, and I think that is what scares us sometimes. But again, we don't know when or where our lives will cease or the circumstances. I can tell you that you're a 20 year old, healthy man, the chances of anything happening to you are extremely slim. And once you've formed good habits of eating well, exercising, and not smoking, you've done about all you can do. (I know, I should take my own advice!!!) And after that, it's time to just be. This might sound harsh or scary but you are in a mortal body, and you will die as sure as the sun will set, but probably not for a very long time. And it took me awhile to process that. But after that, the question is, how do you want to live your life? In fear? And I'm sure I know the answer. You want to live your life in the light! As I mentioned earlier, my mom is a cancer survivor and an all around awesome lady, but one day while she was going through treatment, I asked her how she didn't have really awful anxiety and panic. And she said that if she allowed that to happen,she might as well be dead. So, next time you start feeling anxious and panicky, maybe some of these thoughts might help you get a little perspective on the situation. I know these things have helped me to process some things. I still have good days and bad days, just as you will, but I feel like I understand just a little but more and I've been to the E.r. alot less! :) Also, please don't hesitate to contact me if you'd like to. I really do know how hard this is and if I could ever offer you any help, I'd be happy to do so!I'll be saying a prayer for you today, please think well, and be well!

Hi xinsanex..<br />
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I don't normally write on these type of things, but I suppose when I read something almost identical to my story and what I feel it's hard not to. I have the same fear say in and out. Any little pain on my chest, back, neck upper abdomen... whatever! Means I am about to have a heart attack.. my heart is just going to stop and I will die. I first started having anxiety/panic attacks over four years ago now.. so was about your age I suppose. I was just at the cinema with my then boyfriend, was relaxed and enjoying the movie... the completely out of the blue it felt like a wave of electricity almost running through my body... my heart started beating really fast and then faster. I made my boyfriend rush me to the ER because I thought I was having a heart attack... by the time I got there I had started to feel ok... I suppose because I felt like I was in a 'safe zone'. I have always been a bit of an adrenalin junkie and love the feeling of pushing boundaries and scaring myself ... but never have I been so terrified in all of my life. <br />
This continued for two months undiagnosed... I was admitted into er a few times where they did a whole range of tests... but I was completely healthy. <br />
I know what you are going through... it’s the most terrible thing especially when you feel sooo alone. I lost my job, quit uni and my boyfriend all around that time. He just didn't understand, I just couldn't seem to make him understand what was happening to me. I have semi sorted myself out now, have a career, new partner who is understanding but every day is torture... every day I wake up thinking this will be my last.<br />
After awhile I think you become neurotic about it... and the attacks manifest in different ways. Have skipped beats/ palpitations and chest pain now. Go to your GP, get him to refer you to a psychologist ... just talk to someone about getting help. The sooner you do it the better I think. Try not to let it rule your life, I know that’s hard!!<br />
Send me a message if you want to talk.. otherwise best of luck with it hope you are doing OK

Ive had anxiety for like 12 years I'm 27 now its an everyday thing and its cobtrolling my life I've been in the hospital twice just this month I hate it I'm glad to know other people feel the same though

i m so sorry 4 u... u really toched my heart