I don't know how love tastes like without any Jealousy. I don't know how lovers can possibly love with no jealousy, it exceeds my imagination.
I'm pretty confident of who I am; strong and self-aware. I'm pretty confident that I'm completely and utterly lovestruck -and the ironic thing is I still hadn't received the full meal, it has only been astonishing, and delicious starters- but I am aware I am lovestruck. I am aware I am strong. Yet those combined is like fire and water.
No matter how strong I am, my love for him, my jealousy for him always gets in the way. It's out of my hands; it's the chemicals reacting.

Jealousy is a terrible thing. And it is helplessly in my veins. It makes you weak. It makes me weak. And I'm extremely high on it whenever you step in the equation. I'm not ashamed or surprised you're weakening me. But it makes me think, can lovers love and continue to love without being jealous over one another?
Can they have their most intimate moments carrying an imaginable amount of love, and be okay if someone else, anyone else, gets the same or a hint of that love?
I certainly can not. I love you too greatly and others receive their full meals while I'm still stuck on starters that aren't always so delicious.
I can not handle seeing you spread kindness to others. To flash your incredible smile to another. I can't even seem to be okay with you having a great time without me. I envy those others. How ironic is it to wish happiness for your other and not be happy that they are.
But it is a chemical reaction I can not control.
However, it can be solved, I can be happy he's happy, I can be jealous in a way that I can accept.
I can be jealous for a millisecond and it would be gone, because I would have him. He would be mine. He would be able to show me the amount of love he has for me and show me what others don't get and I would finally be okay.
I would be okay because he would whisper sweetness in my ear. He would laugh at me for being ridiculous. And I would be okay.

I really thought I was strong. Jealousy— Love is just weird.
lwelo lwelo
22-25, F
2 Responses Aug 22, 2014

I think jealousy is a huge part of new relationships, but as trust and understanding build jealousy should subside.

That's definitely true, but we haven't been together yet. It's been a while loving each other and we still have to wait a couple more years to be together. It's just our culture's traditions that I wish I could change.
So all there is now is want and need and helpless jealousy that comes and goes

Ah I see... that's a pretty tough situation to be in. Hopefully everything will be worth all the anxiety and the wait.

It's tough indeed but your words just made me feel a lot better. Thank you very much!

I love this!!!!! <3

This means a lot. Thank you! *.*