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Ego

Shyness and Flamboyance

Sensitivity and Callousness

Meekness and Arrogance

Are flip sides of the same coin:

Ego

All are self-absorbed.

BertieWooster BertieWooster 46-50, M 7 Responses Apr 29, 2009

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This is compatible with Buddhist points of view, but shrink-wrapped.

LOL Bertie -- I promise to only use your Grandmother's expression in conversation! The only thing I write professionally are obscure analytical reports, hence my enjoyment of this site for its creative outlet.



And likewise, for the thoughtful discussion that ensues from stories such as this one!

Shame or fear of losing face, is a particularly Japanese trait. So is shyness. They say 'We Japanese are shy. that is why it is difficult for us to learn languages'.They are afraid of losing face by making mistakes in speaking a foreign language which may be why they have the lowest TOEIC scores in all of Asia. Also their saying 'The tallest nail gets hammered down' shows their fear of standing out.

Losing face used to be big factor in pre-Cultural Revolution China but that sentiment was considered bourgeois and got re-educated out of them.


Closed North Korea may still have a concept of losing face but in other areas of modern Asia, it doesn't seem part of their culture, as with South East Asians, Tibetans, Indians, etc. Good manners and maintaining harmony are important social concepts, however.


You may use Grandmother's expression all you like, as long as you don't put it in a book. :)

Yes, Bertie, our feelings are instead slaves to us. We enslave a particular emotion for any number of reasons, not the least of which is the desire to justify a spiritual rightness, regardless of our cultural leanings. Chemistry? Yes, but we do get some choices there.



For example, in the Eastern cultures you describe, there is the converse to sensitivity -- shame. Most Westerners can't relate to the Eastern sense of shame, but it could easily be argued that it is equally powerful and just as torturous as the over-sensitivity you describe.



Each weakness, as an extension of ego, I believe also begets unique cultural and spiritual rewards.



Love your Grandmother! I'm going to lovingly "borrow" that metaphor. I promise to give her credit. ;)



Fifi -- I see pity as a negative form of empathy. It is almost a fear, perhaps a hidden anger, bundled with an irrational judgment that we are somehow exempt from a similar universal circumstance. Empathy is a more genuine connection, at least the way I view it.

We are hardly slaves to our feelings. Feelings are merely biochemicals and hormones activating different parts of the brain. Fear, for example, is located in the limbic area of the brain, triggering the 'fight or flight' response.


In the immature and untrained mind, feelings run rampant. People are sensitive

and get their feelings hurt. This seems to be a prized trait in the West,to be sensitive and to be forever expressing one's feelings.


In the East and among mystics, magicians, meditators and other evolved practitioners, 'Taming the Tiger' of the undisciplined mind is of foremost importance before being able to embark on any higher spiritual practices. One must get over oneself before evolving to the point of being able to help others in any spiritual, lastingly beneficial way.


In the Orient, self-pity and self-hatred are concepts which are not understood.

Angry outbursts and emotional displays are viewed with embarrassment for the one who has lost control or they are seen as insane.

Westerners are, as my grandmother used to say 'So wrapped up in themselves, they are ovedressed'.


To Fifi31:You forgot the second part of Aleister Crowley's maxim from the Book of the Law:

"Do what thou wilt shall be the whole of the Law.

Love is the Law. Love under Will"

PITY CAN BE AN INERT FEELING OF EMPATHY? BIOLOGICALLY WE ARE PREDESTIONED TO EXPERIENCE THESE FEELINGS . HATE YOURSELF BECAUSE YOU CANT CONTROL YOURSELF.THE BEAUTY AND THE SIMPLICITY IS REALISING THAT WE ARE OUR FEELINGS AND THEY MANIFEST......

"Do what thou wilt shall be the whole of the law"

Very interesting. As a follow on, I consider pity (which you would feel for shyness or sensitivity) and hatred (which you might feel towards arrogance or callousness) are much the same emotion. Pity is merely hatred with superiority built in.