I Am a Korean Adoptee
I am a Korean adoptee...
I am 27 years old, I work as a security guard, and I live in a small apartment close to my work. I have a girlfriend who is Korean (not adopted), my adoptive parents are divorced, I have a sister who is also adopted from Korea. I live in Sweden, but have never seen it as my home. I have been to Korea three times, but never even considered it to be my home either. I see myself as a tourist, going back and forth between my mothers. Mother Sweden and Mother Korea. In Sweden, people can hear what I want to say, and feel what I feel, but in Korea people just feel sorry for me, and for the fact that I am a Korean adoptee.
I am mixed when it comes to what I feel about Korea. I was born in Korea, for that I love her. I was sent thousands of miles away just because my birth mother couldnt control money, for that I hate Korea. Korea even though rich, still send over a 100 children to sweden every year, for that I despise Korea. Former President Kim Dae Jung said on a visit to Sweden that adoption to our country would seize in a few years, I laughed when he said so, because it will never happen.
Let bygones be bygones? I have, but only because of that I dont need to love Korea or accept her doings. Im not proud to be adopted, how can anyone be that? Are you proud that someone placed you in dumpster? Or left you in front of a church or whatever? What is it in that to be proud of? My mother was a bad mother and not fit to be my parent, she sent me away to receive a better life, which I got. But I ask myself was her choice unselfish or selfish? If you ask the pro-adoptees it was of course unselfish, but if you ask me, it was selfish act.
Why do we exist? Well because we are something shameful, that needs to be cleansed out from their society. We are the lowest in their scale of people. Some Koreans doesnt even know that we exist, and why is that? Is that because they are proud of us? No because they are ashamed of us. Why should we return the favour by being proud of what we are? We are something we cannot change, it is a label that will be placed in our faces as long as we live. Do I sound bitter? Perhaps, but I am not, not anymore. I have accepted who I am, and why I am here, what else can I do?