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I Am a Korean Adoptee

I am a Korean adoptee...

 

I am 27 years old, I work as a security guard, and I live in a small apartment close to my work. I have a girlfriend who is Korean (not adopted), my adoptive parents are divorced, I have a sister who is also adopted from Korea. I live in Sweden, but have never seen it as my home. I have been to Korea three times, but never even considered it to be my home either. I see myself as a tourist, going back and forth between my mothers. Mother Sweden and Mother Korea. In Sweden, people can hear what I want to say, and feel what I feel, but in Korea people just feel sorry for me, and for the fact that I am a Korean adoptee.

 

I am mixed when it comes to what I feel about Korea. I was born in Korea, for that I love her. I was sent thousands of miles away just because my birth mother couldnt control money, for that I hate Korea. Korea even though rich, still send over a 100 children to sweden every year, for that I despise Korea. Former President Kim Dae Jung said on a visit to Sweden that adoption to our country would seize in a few years, I laughed when he said so, because it will never happen.

 

Let bygones be bygones? I have, but only because of that I dont need to love Korea or accept her doings. Im not proud to be adopted, how can anyone be that? Are you proud that someone placed you in dumpster? Or left you in front of a church or whatever? What is it in that to be proud of? My mother was a bad mother and not fit to be my parent, she sent me away to receive a better life, which I got. But I ask myself was her choice unselfish or selfish? If you ask the pro-adoptees it was of course unselfish, but if you ask me, it was selfish act.

 

Why do we exist? Well because we are something shameful, that needs to be cleansed out from their society. We are the lowest in their scale of people. Some Koreans doesnt even know that we exist, and why is that? Is that because they are proud of us? No because they are ashamed of us. Why should we return the favour by being proud of what we are? We are something we cannot change, it is a label that will be placed in our faces as long as we live. Do I sound bitter? Perhaps, but I am not, not anymore. I have accepted who I am, and why I am here, what else can I do?

 

 

G4s G4s 26-30, M 3 Responses Dec 28, 2008

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All of us- regardless of the circumstances of our birth-
are the products of love, and a miracle of creation.
Labels are nothing but culture bound ,artificial,and man made so they are transient, divisive illusions. Don't let them ever limit or define you - you are only limited by your own thoughts. Only love is eternal, and living a life of love and acceptance will lead you to your purpose.

Your bitter feelings are understandable.

I too was adopted at age 7 or older..the documents were basically made for adoption. That's a story in itself. My story is different from yours. My parents passed away when I was still there. My sister placed me for adoption later on. In 2004, I was able to find them without intent to find them ..long story. I appreciate your story. I am not going to tell you that I feel sorry for you or that what your feeling is bitter...etc...I think at some level, many adoptees understand where you are coming from even if your stories differ. I do think that we all find 'our' way though our own experiences. I have had many/same reactions from other koreans at different times in my life, and struggle with why these distinctions are placed on people. I know, everybody goes through this somewhat but feel 'being' adopted, it places us outside of what we see ourselves as ( sorry if rambling). An example is how some koreans have told me that I am a 1.5er even though I was born and raised at least my early years there. Yes, I grew up here, in an 'American' home but the time I was there, I probably experienced more ' traditional aspects of life' than some koreans who still live there. I find it very interesting and fascinating..how we are catagorized and sometimes dismissed. But in the end, I take all these experiences to make me who I am. To understand others and where they are coming from to understand me. I hope to hear more from you and I wish you much happiness (sorry if that sounds a bit wishy washy).