My Story & What I Believe...

When I was 13, I fell in love for the first time, and it has been the only time that I've ever been in love.

We hung out all the time and we were practically sisters - but I realized that I loved her as more than that. Well, I wasn't able to admit this to myself up until about last year. I wasn't able to look myself in the mirror and say, "I have loved another girl." Now I can, which is a start at least. I remember one night my dad took us to the movie theater to watch Twilight (I know it's lame haha), and the theater was about 30 minutes away from my house. After the movie was over, she leaned her head on my shoulder as we listened to a slow love song on my iPod, and I remember that was one of the best feelings I ever had in my 13 years on earth. There were other hints that she cared about me too, but she never actually told me if she cared for me like that.

Then one night, I got on Facebook, and I saw that she changed her relationship status, and she was dating a guy. Now obviously this broke my heart. I was sobbing to myself in my room and my parents were downstairs, absolutely clueless to my heartbreak. It was then that "There Will Be a Day" by Jeremy Camp came on the internet radio station I was listening to. I immediately felt God's comfort, and I know he was with me on that night.

Now, I've had other crushes on girls (and even some on boys, but it hasn't been the same) but I never fell in love after that. I know it was love because I still care about her today, and I'm 17. It's not the same though. We are friends now, and she even has another boyfriend, and I'm not even jealous anymore. I am happy for her - and to be able to say that, after all she put me through, isn't that what love is?

Now to sum up my story, I just wanted to say that I don't think that God intended for us to be with people of the same sex. Even though this is my belief, I KNOW that He loves us no matter what, and He will not give up on us. And He's not mad at us.

However, I do think that if it's not His plan or us to be with the same gender, then He WILL provide a way out for us. Everyone has his own struggle, and this is mine. I'm not judging you if you're in a relationship with someone of the same gender...by no means. I'm just saying that if the Bible says it's contradictory to His plan, I believe it. I believe we can overcome though, and God has helped me in my struggle. He will help you too...he will help you and anyone who calls on Him and trusts Him.
livebyphil4thirteen livebyphil4thirteen
18-21
May 24, 2012