It's Not The Love That Is Wrong, It's The Sex!

It is not the love that is wrong, it’s the Sex! This is what the pastor and first lady said to us as I was sitting beside the woman I've loved since I was 16. We had spent four of the most pleasing months helping them establish a church, hosting events to raise money for said church, and gushing about how blessed we were to have them come into our lives. I told my girlfriend (actually wife to be) we had to tell them about us, that it was wrong that we held these positions in their church and hadn't talk to them about it. We sat down, told them we're gay and they responded with yeah we figured, and God isn't accepting of it. Furthermore they agreed with another pastor that homosexuals shouldn't even be allowed in church.
They had used us as their work mules, just to ultimately exorcise me in their living room. It was fine that we were gay as long as we were silent about it and put in our works. So I raise the question: God doesn't like homosexuals, but his disciples can use them to help put his works in progress?
I was at fault for believing that they would over look my sexual preference and just see me. I hated even allowing them to look into a window of time in my life where I cried every single day because I loved God and wanted to spend eternity with him, but over something that wasn't even my decision I was going to hell. That is exactly what an eleven year old should go through right?
The whole experience with the pastor and such has help create a spiritual blackout that I can never quite get over. My faith has been shaken and I just want to find my way back to the father so we can have the relationship we use to. Now I'm holding out on my fiancé. At first it was because we aren’t married and thus it is fornication. This has grown to being because God hates the sex. I would rather spend the rest of my life loving her, God, and not having sex because I want to spend eternity in heaven with God and her.
Marriage (or the lacking ability I should say) and not being able to love her in every way just doesn’t seem right either. Now I’m on a journey, just me and God. I know that he will lead me to the light (whatever the case). I’m just not sure if the loving and understanding woman that I’m with will understand when I come clean about holding out. In the meantime till I find the answers I’m seeking I can’t continue to sin. I don't know how I allowed them to get into my head anyway. At a complete lose . . . pray for me and my prays you shall have.