I'm A Girl In Love With A Woman Married To A Man.

I have never thought that this could happen to me but it did. 2 years ago. My girlfriend is 20 years older than me and is married with 3 kids. No one knows about us but I could imagine what sort of 'advices' I would be getting if I spilled it out to my friends. I love her incredibly, more than any other girls (single, younger) that I have gone out with. She attracts me so much both physically and emotionally. She was born in a very conservative family and her husband has no idea that she is seeing someone else.

This relationship hurts me. My heart aches every time when they go on a family trip, when someone talks about her husband, when I think about her sleeping with him... I tried leaving her a few times but it never worked. I turned back to her every time.

I love her so much and I know that she does love me too but I know I will never be able to have her. And I do not want to be the reason she loses her kids even though she always told me that she really can't tolerate her husband any longer and will leave him one day to be with me. I know that can never happen but I can only stay on because I no longer have a choice. My heart belongs to her.
imthegirlfriend imthegirlfriend
11 Responses Jul 9, 2010

Wow ! I know my answer is coming super late ... I envy your relationship and I hope it is still on track... I mean, when you live something that beautiful with someone, you just can't give it away .... The woman I am in love with is 32 years older than me, married, has two kids who are my age, is exclusively attracted to men (well I think but that's really a detail ...) has two kids, lives on an other continent and also happens to be a distant cousin of mine... But I'd do everything to have even a fetus of relationship with her ... I know how insane I sound but my advice in that case is : enjoy what the two of you have while it lasts ... In every relationship you have to make sacrifices... and some sacrifices are more burdening than others, like in your situation ... Honestly, what matters is your love is requited. You'll both get through this

I am in this exact situation. Except I am the married woman. For all I know this could be my "soul mate" that just wrote this. I am so heartbroken that I can barely see straight. I am in love with her but don't want to break my kids hearts. My husband knows how I feel. I don't play both sides even though it may seem to most I must. I don't have any sexual relations with my husband, I haven't for at least two years. I told him I wasn't in love with him and he knows I've been with...let's call her Franchesca. Right when I th Get I was going to break it off with my spouse to be with her, she started drinking again (she had been sober) I felt like she didn't really love me because she chose booze right when she was supposed to choose me....I've been heartbroken. I love her. But she has gone off the deep end. She's even in jail now. But my heart will always be hers....I don't know what to do....help

I'm in a very similar situation. I ended up with a woman who's been married for almost 15 years and has two little kids but who is exploring her sexuality. I fell hard for her despite my best efforts not to. I know exactly what you mean and how you feel about not wanting to be the reason she loses her kids. I've recently tried backing off and after over a year of counselling and dating me she has apparently gone back in the closet. I see this post is a few years old. I hope you're doing well now. Were you able to move on?

All if you lesbians will be torture in hell by the God of the light! Satanas, bohamet will be your accompanions, and youll cursed and your future generations. Satanas, Bohamet love torturing creatures like you. Ell mous podirosu Dios nu ti ayudarea!

Infernous del satanas

Your stupid and going to hell. Al burn en il infernou!!

I wish i had some advise for you. I understand, but from the opposite perspective. I'm married with 3 kids but I have been separated for 1 year. I fell in love with an amazing woman who is not married. We are crazy about each other. I want to be with her, but she always says we can't be. She has a guy she's seeing too. It's so complicated.

Hi, I just stumbled across this site,bc i was looking for a poem to write to my girl which by the way is married too. :( but i do also understand bc she is my bff too. So many of the same things in ur post. I guess i need to talk w/ someone also. In some weird way u have helped me out. Thanx! Let's find us in all this

sometimes people who have a deep fear of intimacy/commitment fall deeply in love with a person who is emotionally unavailible in order to avoid taking real risks and learning about themselves and life...<br />
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if you are one of these people I suggest you seek out a cool therapist, the feeling of seeing one is awesome, you totally unload and learn some very helpful ways to handle life. even if you decide to wait for her to get her **** together a therapist will help you sort the whole thing out and just maybe some other stuff as well...

Stay with her...i'm sure the husband wouldn't mind if she still see's you because you're a female and much younger! Men don't mind if a girl is with their wifes! He would if you were a man! He'd probably kill you lol...but your a girl, He wouldn't care. and plus...you have to realize she has 3 kids so wait until they are grown and she will find a way perhpas / maybe to be with you more. She does love you and you kow that? And you do have her sometimes so its okay.

I have been in your shoes. I am still.... in a way. My married gf usually was the 1 to break up with me over the past 3 yrs. However, I FINALLY found the strength to break up with her. Id say thats that... but it isn't. I am still in love with her. Since everyone has known us as BFFs... and we have mutual friends... we still see a lot of each other. And sometimes we still plan things together. It's like we are trying to be friends... but we are still in love. My heart still belongs to her. She is still my bff also. She is ALSO still married. She talks about leaving her husband too. I don't see her taking any steps to disconnect herself from him. In fact, they just bought a time share together and she is planning a bunch of trips. He is financially well off and has so much of a life style to offer her, why would she leave? To become a struggling single parent such as myself? I doubt it. I have nothing to offer her, she has told me... I am struggling everyday. Torn between my heart's desire to be with her and the reality of the fact that that will never happen while she is married. I have a very dear friend who has talked to be to realize one reason why I subject myself to this situation is bc I have low self esteem and do not feel worthy of anything more. But I am.... at least she keeps telling me that. I'm going to start working on my self esteem and seek some counseling. I need to find my freedom from her. I need to figure out what Im truely worth. And hopefully my dear friend is right, and I'll do more than say it. I'll believe it.As much as I truely can understand and empathize with you.... may I also encourage you to do the same thing my friend is telling me to do. Maybe one day you will be able to find your freedom from your gf as well.