Why? And How?

i feel like I'm being tormented. whenever i build up the strengh to get him out of my life, he gets sick all of a sudden and has to go to the hospital, so i can pity him. he does this so i can feel sorry for him...and its driving me crazy! we had a conversation last night where i told him i couldn't take it anymore. this is not a typical case of women wanting to leave the husband because they wanna be with a woman. its more to it. its how lazy he is, and how he doesn't work, and how i get accused of all things. i pay all the bills and we have kids. he has a son from a previous relationship, and doesn't care to take care of him. loving women is a huge reason i don't want him but...there's so much more. I'm so upset because he is taking advantage of my caring and concern, and runs to the hospital and claims illness. I'm so tired, i wanna live my life apart from him. he has to find his own way someday. he has no life of his own, all he does is hang around the house, broke, jobless, and pitiful. he told me there is no god, i told him dint ever say that around my kids, or he will be out no matter if he has some place to go or not. hes not a good role model for my kids. and its sad, they cant look up to him. hes a poor excuse for a man, and i feel I'm stuck with him.i wanna be happy. hope somebody is reading this, and can help me through this with kind words.
breejones33 breejones33
31-35, F
5 Responses Jul 30, 2010

What a story. The part where your husband plays sick to get sympathy struck a chord with me as I deal with a relative who behaves in a similar way. And just like you said, it drives me crazy and angry. The best advice I can give to you and me is that we cannot control other people. We can only control ourselves. We change ourself and then the people and circumstances around us change. I sense that you are moving to where you want to be which is good. Good luck to you and don't give up.

oh honey thanku for all the comments...the time is here...hes leaving in 2wks to alabama

I've met men like your husband a few times. Any guy that treats you and those kids like that is not a man. I have been married many years to a wonderful woman, while I'm not gay I am bisexual. My wife knows that I am always there for her, we raised 6 great kids and are proud of what we accomplished with them. It would be impossible for you to stay in this situation and have any chance of happiness for you or your kids. Any man that contributes only pain and suffering to a relationship should not be in one and this creep should be out of your life so that you can finally relax for a change. It will take a lot of inner strength on your part but I hope and pray you get this fool out of your life.

thx my love for the kind words. i know thats whats going on...ive had it! im gonna do something about it! no more mrs nice lady!

My mom did the same ****! When she was living off me making me miserable and I threatened to kick her out she went to the hospital the next day claiming she had a heart attack. Heart attack my ***! They said she was fine! Its another way to control with guilt. Its just another game he's playing. When I finally was able to kick her out she found a place quick. People like that are more capable then they want you to believe and will take care of themselves when it comes down to it. They do everything they can to leach off people. Stay strong.