Are Any Lesbians Married To Men In A Healthy Gay Relationship Now?

I mean, I know it's highly unlikely because of the "married to a man" thing, and I almost got myself into an ugly gay relationship (except for a friend on here who opened my love-sick eyes to how I was being treated, but I'm just wondering...is there any hope?
onmywayhome onmywayhome
36-40, F
4 Responses May 15, 2012

I would love to leave my husband but there are so many difficulties, mostly financial.<br />
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The second best thing would be if he could be ok with me dating a woman...but he wouldn't be :(<br />
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I'm so sad!

finances. yeah. i'm really stuck with that. it's even harder than figuring out how to work all this out with our kids....

Yeah, although I don't have kids It seems like they are really good at adapting and so I can see that the finances would be a greater obstacle. Sometimes I really feel like this world is so unfair to women. It feels like we have to work so much harder and get less in return in so many ways.

absolutely. i never realized how much i took "heteroprivilege" for granted until now. :( how can i possibly support myself &amp; 3 kids? ugh....

I know exactly how you feel. Financially, I know I wouldn't be able to afford a divorce and live on my own. The thought of losing my house breaks my heart. I definitely feel stuck.

I tested the waters with my husband when I first told him I was bisexual to see if he'd be open to me seeing a woman and the answer was an empahtic "NO". I thought I could live with it, but a lack of emotional and physical intimacy can drive you to do crazy things. I don't condone cheating in any way, but how long can you put your own desires and happiness on the back burner?

It sounds like you're in a really difficult position too, but your girlfriend sounds really understanding and mature about it all. I bet that makes all the difference in the world. I completely understand about not condoning cheating yet finding yourself totally deprived of intimacy and contact. I feel that way too and although a year or two ago if I had the opportunity I definitely would not have cheated but now if I had the chance to have a girlfriend I would! You are so right, you can only go without companionship for so long.

Although I don't like my husband he is my family and the thought of losing my home breaks my heart too.

It's just so awesome that you have a girlfriend that's so wonderful!

Yeah, having fallen in love with a woman, my perspective on cheating has totally changed. I'm not proud of this, but I believe I would cheat, if given the opportunity. Not with just anyone...but I can't imagine that God wanted me to finally know who I am, and what love feels like, only to have me long for it forever.

3 More Responses

Yesterday I got a message from a woman on a lesbian dating site that I'd forgotten I'd registered on. She's married with 3 kids. Her husband knows about her sexuality and is supportive of her dating women. Of course I probably blew any chance of her ever contacting me again because I was way too intrigued and my questions were probably not appropriate for a would-you-like-to-be-pen-pals email.

I received a very nice message in return. And my mind was put at ease by several equally if not more personal questions from her. And now I feel like I'm 16 waiting for her to reply to another message.

Hurray! Good for you! I hope it works out for you!

update, please? ;)

Weeeeeeellllll :) it's VERY nice. We text all day long, talk often, and we've met once.( She lives an hour and a half away.)It makes me kind of giddy.
Even though my husband has agreed to an open marriage, i haven't been able to tell himhim about her. I don't know why I'm such a coward. It seems fairly safe because we're both commited to staying with our families. Wish me luck, I so want to tell him, I just always chicken out.

This is SOOO cool! keep us posted! ;)

Ok. Tonight she offered to have her husband fix my car. Need I elaborate on how odd I find that? This is quite different from my last relationship with a woman.

this is so cool! :) but yes, odd....

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How fun and exciting! Follow your dreams, I know that cliche but please don't be stupid of me.

Sure there is! The fact that there are lots of decent people like us here on EP restores all our faith in our almost impossible quest. Let's face it, finding a woman as a girlfriend/partner/lover when you are single is difficult enough without adding the baggage of a husband and 10 kids into the equation. The quest is automatically more complicated. But on saying that, there is someone out there for us all. All we have to do is find them. This can happen in the most unlikely place, time or circumstances.......so be prepared!!!!! We could always set up our own dating service among us all who belong to this EP Experience Group ;-) Now there’s a bright idea!!!!!<br />
*wonders who would be prepared to have a relationship with me considering I'm stuck in bloody Ireland :-(*

Sounds like there is someone since you wrote this. :)

LOL....well now that you ask, yes I have and she's from NY and she's amazing and wants me badly ;-)