25 And Stuck

Im 25 married to the man of my dreams since highschool, only problem is im
After the woman of my dreams she doesnt exist but in my mind she is carefree and understands the world as i do, sees nature as more important than material objects is passionate and loving. I have 2 little girls with my husband and could never leave him but ive always deep down frly empty inside of this "perfect" life. My husband is a very attractive man and im told over and over again how beautiful i am, which is nice but im not one to judge by looks and im so over the negativity of this fake world i live in. I just want to be free outside in the world as much as im free within my body, if that makes sense
Lysa1 Lysa1
22-25, F
6 Responses Nov 25, 2012

Have you ever tried to learn from ex-lesbians how they were able to abandon that lifestyle?

After all, letting this destroy your marriage and your family will cause you unimaginable pain for many years.

I feel 100% the same, as you all.
It suprised me that there are so many women with more or less the same stories, with the same feelings. On the other side it should be an affirmation as well, that these feelings, the fantasies, the desired "inside world", the sexual longing are not weird. On the contrary, they seemed to be the part of human nature. And maybe that makes our everyday's life a bit bearable.
I don't think that repressing emotions or sacrificing our hidden part can be the solution. I'm pretty sure if our desire could be experienced, we would get wings and be able to fly. We would live more energetic and passionate life, would be better, happier moms, friends, colleagues, bosses.
What I still don't know....how, where to start.

I completely understand. I have the most amazing husband in the world and I really do love him to death but I can't stop fantasising about other woman.

Yeah, it is hard to be married to a wonderful man. There are so many women -- including some on this site -- who have crappy relationships with their husbands. One can think "why should I complain?"

I don't know what the answer is, except to say that being married to a fabulous man does not make my sexual longing go away. There is a part of me that he can't bring alive, no matter how awesome he is. Whether I'll decide that part of me is essential, or can be sacrificed, I don't know yet.

I am 26 and I've been married to the most wonderful man for the past 6 years. He is actually the only man I've ever love and ever will love. But women, women are another matter. I've always yearned to be with a woman of another race but I totally understand you its just a freedom. Its real and I can't deny it. My husband and I don't have children and he knows about my desire for a relationship with a woman, I'm just thankful that he is not the type of man that is in to woman 3 somes etc.... He respects how I feel and still loves me so I guess I'm lucky. I'm still looking for my girl. Shes not with me but I know she exist.

I understand. My husband is also amazing. That makes it even more difficult for me because I question why I can't be happy with such a "perfect" partner. Sounds like we have that in common.