I Have It Together On The Outside! ;)

Ok here goes.

Lost my virginity to a girl years ago. One of the best sexual experiences of my life. Since then I married a man, had two great kiddos, and divorced. Remarried another man, an amazing man and wonderful step father. I have been with current husband 12 years. I had an affair with a woman about 4 years ago. It was intense. Just like my first experience. My husband found out and we have worked through it. I love him. I don't want to hurt him. But this desire I have to be with women doesn't seem to be going away and it consumes me. I am 40 years old. Frustrated that I'm just now coming to terms with who I really am. I don't want to hurt anyone. If I changed my lifestyle I feel like I would hurt so many people. Melissa Etheridge wrote a song- The wanting of you- that song is amazing and tells me I am not the only one in this situation.

SummerMae SummerMae
36-40, F
1 Response Dec 7, 2012

Hi, I enjoyed your story. I also get this feeling and sometimes i hate it. I just want to feel fulfilled with the amazing man i am married to. I love him and he is everything to me. We also have two beautiful children. We have been together since 15 and we are now 27/28. He knows and accepts my urges but i have to share him to get the female contact that i need. I guess its a sacrifice, so that we both get something out of it and he isnt left out. Sometimes my urges go away but when they are showing themselves i cant focus on anything else. It is so overwhelming. Try books?! Sometimes they help me get through those times and if not i go searching on the internet, like i am now. I have a couple of friends that him and i have ********** with but thats few and far between. Good luck and happy to talk anytime.