Heartache

I am a married woman (to a man) I have been carrying on an affair with a beautiful 36 year old woman who is also married but to a woman ( or committed). I feel so foolish and stupid that I somehow thought there would be some sort of future.
She insists she loves me, but also loves her wife and that their relationship is "just different". I fell hard for her. I have never been so in love. (I should mention I am 52).
She tells me she has always been very up front with me, but in those early months so many conversations and dreams of how it would be if we were both free.....
I feel I have been played.....
She asks me now why I couldn't just be half way. Does love even happen half way.
Okay, so trying to be the more mature stronger person, I told her that I thought she was "in lust" and to stop telling me she loves me. She insists she loves me, but also loves her wife----
AARRGH
So, on the other hand the sex is phenomenal and I could carry on with it, but this relationship needs to be what it is-SEX. How do I cool my heart, stay on with the physical relationship or let it all go and move on?
By the way, my husband is aware I am at least "BI" (ha), but unaware of my affair.
I would appreciate all opinions!
Januarywine Januarywine
51-55, F
2 Responses Jan 21, 2013

Why not just try at a polyglot relationship?

I have been in a poly relationship for 15 years and I have no regrets. I'm married to my husband, who is also with an older woman who is a lesbian (He is her one exception, but that's a different, far stranger story), but she and I are not together.

We are all one family, and though it's sometimes rocky, it's worked out wonderfully for a decade and a half, through good times and bad.

What's wrong with the four of you maintaining a relationship, where your two separate families are linked together by your relationship to her?

I'm so sorry to hear that you are in that spot. Do you love your husband? I don't anymore and I want to get a divorce to be with another woman. I guess the thing is do you want to stay with your husband or be with a woman. The other woman need to know want she wants too. I'll be thinking about you and hoping for the best. Xoxo.

Thank you.
I don't lived husband but for now due to family complications I stay. As for my beautiful lover, she will never be free to be with me, nor will I ask her because I love her and I love her children. Intellectually I know it's all wrong and the danger if being found out us immense, but neither if us can seem to break it off!
I thi k sometimes if u just found someone else..... But thu k who would have me cuz I'm married to a man( in name only!!!
~sigh~