I am married to a very good man. I too have always considered myself a good person. I have 2 sons whom I love with all my heart. I love my husband, but the attraction is just not there. I dont think that it is not there for just him but for any man. Men just dont seem to turn me on.
Women on the other hand, excite me a great deal. I have tried to put it out of my mind for years, but it seems that the older I get the more attracted to women I become. There is a really good friend in my life right now. She knows that I am very attracted to her, physically and emotionally.
I know that despite my apprehension to do what I would consider cheating, I would love to be with her in every way. I think about her, I dream about her and I fantasize about her.
That said, as rediculous as it may sound, I dont know for sure if I am lesbian or if I am just not being satisfied sexually and emotionally by my husband. I might want to mention that we have not had sex in over 5 years.
I do love my husband, he is a good and kind man and good with my sons. He works hard at making us happy and well cared for. But when it comes to real emotional and physical connection, it seems that I have it with women.
I really just need to talk with someone. I am lost. I am lonely and feel so confused. I just need to say this and talk to someone other than myself.