The cliche "I guess I always knew", is so true when it comes to my situation. I always knew I was different and yet I followed the trend and married a wonderful man and had 2 beautiful children. About 7 years ago my difference became apparent when I had an affair with a friend of mine. I was so (still am) in love with her I had to open the closet door. Off course I fell flat on my face. None of the beautiful pillow talk dreams we had, realised. I could not pull through. So 7 years later I am not living. I am just breathing. Living in a new country, for the last 8 months, did not change anything. Now I am more lonely than ever.