Living Contently, But Wanting More......

I just recently within the past 3 months came to grips with what I have felt for many years. I have been attracted to women since around 10 years old. I have been married to an active duty military man for 5 years. I have a teenager from a previous marriage. I feel like sometimes I am living a double life. I am very involved with the military life, i volunteer with my husband's unit, friends with other military wives. None of them know about my huge secret.

I just recently went back to school and became very close friends with a lesbian 10 years younger than me. We had a brief affair. I confessed it to my husband. He is still with me, he said he knew he married a woman who is bisexual, he was not ok with the affair. I know it is still cheating. I ended the affair, however the girl and i are still friends, just not as close.

I am wondering if there are any of you lesbians married to men who have made it work? I love my husband, he is my best friend. I can't see my life without him, however, I know what I am missing. I can't figure out if I am just lusting for incredible sex, or is it the whole package, sex and a partner. I went through a period in my early 20's with 3somes with married couples while i was single. I never gave myself the chance to have a lesbian relationship because the type of lesbians I wanted were not very open in the area I lived in. I am the lipstick type and interested in the lipstick type. I feel like i am at a crossroads sometimes.

Oboerapy Oboerapy
31-35, F
2 Responses Feb 16, 2010

I am here to tell you.... it can work. Its a lot of HARD work, a lot of TALKING, and a lot of HONESTY. <br />
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You have to first find out what about the affair did your husband disagree with? Was it that he didnt know, or was it simply that it was another person? If he is monogamous, and isnt able to be polyamorous, then you have figure out if the two of you align in that regard. <br />
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My husband and I have been together for 15 years, married for 12. Its not always been roses and sunshine, but, we are still together because we love each other, and thats the ONLY reason we are still together.

Thank you for the input and support. You gave me a lot to think about and very good insight on life coyotewithwings.