The Non-biological Mom!

My partner and I have been trying to get pregnant for a while now. We have two inseminations tomorrow and Friday. The doctor seems to think this time is going to work because all of the issues before are resolved. She told us to be prepared to come back for a positive blood test. While this is SO exciting, all of a sudden its real. And I'm scared sh**less. I have all these angry thoughts that I'm not going to be as important as my partner in our child's life. I don't want her to breast feed, because I don't want the baby to know only HER as comfort. It's different from being a mom and dad couple. I'm going to be a MOM. I want to do the MOM things. How am I supposed to do that? I won't be on maternity leave. I won't know the child as well as she does when it comes out. I know this sounds selfish and I really, truly am happy to hopefully be having this experience soon.... but did any other non-bio moms have these fears/anxieties?
snt1004 snt1004
2 Responses Sep 26, 2012

I am having a similar experience. We are 19 weeks pregnant, I am feeling extremely isolated and removed from the expeience.To add fuel to the fire it messes with your homones (even being the one not carrying the child).
Make sure you do as much as you can with the baby when you are home from work it will help you bod and it will give your partner a rest. Hope all goes well.

I don't think you're being selfish at at all. Of course you think and feel all those things - it's human to. Are you able to have a dialogue with your partner about these things without her becoming defensive?