I Have Found My Soulmate But Will It Ever Have A Happy Ending?

I never expected to fall in love with her, our meeting was so unexpected. What started as a close friendship has turned into the love of my life. It didn't take long for me to realize that she is everything I had ever wanted, but never realized. Why? I am married with two children and so is she. The love we have is immeasurable. I do not go a day without talking to her and find an how so hard not to text hello. We have been physical and although that has been absolutely amazing, the need I have to protect her, love her and care for her is far too great. We know we want to be together, there is no doubt about that. But our marriages and the sacrifices we would force our children into are far too great. I have told my husband that I have feelings for her. He has gone through many emotions but think he is stuck in denial. Sometimes I think he gets it, he has even said when it comes to sex just decide if I am a lesbian or bi-sexual, I know I am a lesbian, but I'm scared!

My love has been through so much too. Her husband would never understand is all about how he looks to the community and how he feels. He is so self centered. He doesn't put her needs first and it breaks my heart. She is the opposite of me, I think I will make it if she decided to be with me, but she feels helpless. The men in her life have always left her feeling that way. Recently we spent a night alone going into the city and it was the most amazing night I have ever had. I fell even more in love with her and can not imagine my life without her. We had a major turning point. Although we had a turning put, he has put so many pressures on her about our relationship that at times I feel I will lose her. Since that night, he has become cruel and mean to her and she has suffered so much stress. She tried and has tried to tell him that she doesn't enjoy sex as he pressures her constantly. He is relentless. She even tried to tell him that she had feelings for women. He was enraged and since then, she has been going overboard with faking like everything is fine. She is scared and I am trying to be supportive.

I struggle with seeing pictures of their happy family and couple shots as she tells me I am her soul mate and she loves me. I am not as happy and my husband knows why, so there is some animosity that she is able to fake with her husband as mine knows I'm in love with her. I fear everyday I am not strong enough to deal with her limitations. Although I think I will and can eventually leave, I don't feel like she ever will. We love each other so much. Its been 14 months, the best 14 months of my life and I can't imagine my life without her, I just don't know if I see a happy ending in sight. Its what I pray for though every night!
Renee0715 Renee0715
41-45, F
3 Responses Aug 24, 2013

My life sounds similar to your friend's life. Looking forward to hearing how things turn out.

Sounds like a "once in a lifetime" kinda love;)

It is a "once in a lifetime" love and I hold it close to my heart. She is absolutely the most amazing woman I have ever met.

Don't worry about other people! Worry about yourself, and don't accept ANY negative comments! The people who love you in your life will still love you. The people who don't obviously don't belong in your life!