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My Story

Hey, guys. I too feel this way. Ever since I was a little kid I always wanted to be a girl. They just seemed to have more fun and freedom. I was always jealous of Ranma Saotome from Ranma 1/2, and how he could change into a girl by simply touching water. But all I could do was watch the show and hope.
I am still jealous of women. They have much more freedom. I mean, there's only so many ways that you can wear pants and a shirt. Women have so many advantages over men! I'd rather have ONE bad week a month than be in a pitiful mood every waking moment.
Now don't get me wrong, I'm not gay, I am straight and have had many relationships and have also been in love with women several times. But every time I see a beautiful woman, I always wonder what it would be if I could be woman with the same beauty. I do hope that one day I meet a woman that understands me though.
I don't think I'll ever get a sex change since I do love women and I'm not sure that I want to be permanently changed into a fake version of what I want. However, I have placed my faith in modern science to further improve the process to make us as close as can be. I know that I am a lesbian woman on the inside.
Also I am hoping that since modern technology has come very far, making stuff that was laughable five years ago, then hopefully within my lifetime, some sort of virtual reality can be developed.
Well, it was nice to see that there are people like me, and I hope to hear from you guys.
ShineStar ShineStar 16-17 21 Responses Nov 26, 2010

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I am to guy that had an few relationships with girls but when I was little I liked Barbie dolls and the easy bake oven and now that I am an adult I love skinny jeans and short shorts showing off my legs feels very good and I also love the color pink but I do also to like girls

As I read this I thought "Dude, are we living on the same planet?" I have many thoughts similar to yours, just from the other side. Some days I have really hard time to shake off self-misogynic thoughts and I focus on all the disadvantages of being a woman. Sometimes it seems to me that from a biological point of view it's so easy to live as a man. (No period & PMS, no chance of getting pregnant...) But then I realize that gender is just one of many factors that form us into who we are. Culture we live in, our personality types, physical appearance, health, emotionality, dominant or submissive behaviour, possible inclination to depression, passions for certain things (likemusic/sport/movies/etc...)...Many of these things can be the same for both men and women. Genetics proves it pretty well. I inherited a lot of personality traits from my father and it neither does make him less of a man, nor me less of a girl. It's just gender stereotyping that makes us think that something's wrong with us just because we don't feel and behave according to these stereotypes. All in all, it's always better to take people as individuals and not to think about them as a part of some bigger group. There are many different people in this world and I'd bet you can find types of girls you wish to know among them. Wish you good luck. :)

Did you ever consider that you might be transgender. BTW You can be a MTF transgender and still like woman.

you are exactly like me than except i want a sexchange,<br />
i always wanted to be a girl but still like them in a sexual way.<br />
but im only 15 and in Sweden u haft to be 18 to change sex + my parents would go crazy if i told them. (the baddest thing is if u want to look like u are born a girl u schuld change sex while a teenager)<br />
<br />
if someone want email me: skyrim.spore@gmail.com

Me too i felt this way since a kid, always hid it tho, in my home i had a step dad that hated it when i tried to do girly stuff with my sister, and her friends. So i learned the best i could to be a boy. I relate to girls better, and sometimes with my guy friends i don't even understand what the hell they do the things they do. I think i did a pretty good job being a boy, but deep inside im a girl attracted to girls. I have had a few girlfriends and got married, and now divorced. I know im transgender, and found out that my mom is bi and, knew my uncle was gay. Something happen to me when i was still in my moms womb. If i came out a girl id most likely be Lesbian.

Wow, that was interesting read.<br />
I've never specifically thought about those examples, but it is true that they are there. I feel like the world is so far from change that we will not live to see it blossom into what it could be. <br />
Nevertheless, there is still hope.

@BunnieBlue <br />
What ShineStar said is very true. Women do have it a lot easier. A lot by a magnitude of ten fold if you factor in her infinite orgasmic potential on top of all other benefits; for women who think she rather be a man, her options and potential are still there, just unrealized YET. Statistically, there are far more men in private who wish they are women than the other way around. Look around you, it's a man's world. But it's a lie because it's just an illusion. In a Patriarch society, even the illusion of "value" of having a boy over a girl in China and other countries, do play a role in how opportunities and upbringing but in the end, men carry majority of the burden of sustaining life. This "value" is derived from literally more burden he can carry in his lifetime because society expects of him. So a boy may be blessing for the family or government but not to himself! ^_^ Man do heavy manual labor throughout history, work in the most dangerous and undesirable jobs of mining, high rise building, waste disposal, police work, fire fighting, etc. go to war to be forced to kill who they don't want to kill or be killed by their superiors or the enemy who's also forced to kill against their will (something is wrong here, who's in charge? seems like all the people doing the killing never wanted to; why don't they let the 2 dictators go inside a boxing ring and see who wins the war - instead of sacrificing millions?). If someone takes a gun and point at your head and hand you a gun, says "kill that person over there because he or she is evil and must be killed - though you never know that person, for all you know the statement of them being evil may be a lie, maybe the person pointing the gun at your head, maybe he's evil"... if you don't kill, you will be shot to death... mentally this is torturous. You find the guts to kill or in fear of your own life, you pull the trigger and murder that human being. Then for the rest of your life, you have to live with the memory of how you murder that life and rob him a chance to live. That is war. Women aren't forced to fight but men are.<br />
<br />
Going to war is physically and psychologically traumatizing for life (many commit suicide after serving because they're threatened if they talk - I wonder what did they see and experience that's so horrible, that they wish to share but can't?), men are taught to be heroes and that their life are more expendable than women (movies, media, etc.) but all life should be just as precious and worth saving but that is not reality or at least the public perception. Men have 4 times the suicide rate than women. Despite all the Pros for men in the man's world, the stress, expectations, rules and constraint placed on men literally robbed them of their life force. Traditional Chinese medical authority says men's biological clock runs in a cycle of 8 years while women's 7. That's why girls develop same rate in their puberty at 14 as boys at 16 (multiple of 7x2=14, 8x2=16). In theory, if men aren't stressed out, men should live to 96 vs. women at 84. But men dies around 65-70 (about 25-30 years shorter than genetic potential) while women live to 80. (general statistics). There are 120 male vs 100 female at the point of conception but even by 9 1/2 month 15 of the male died per female so the ratio at birth is 105 male born vs 100 female born (we all started as female by default and due to chemical hormones, males undergo stressful transformation thus the higher mortality rate even during gestation period). After birth, at every single age group, male dies far higher rate than female until death. Somewhere in the late teens, women already over take men in terms of survivability and rest is history.<br />
<br />
I do agree with you that there are exceptions where being men definitely has its day and it'll be too long for me to get into it here because we have free will; we choose to be happy or sad no matter what the circumstances. It's a spiritual path to be able to create an exciting and best probable future for ourselves. Be aware of media propaganda, a lot of what we perceived to be real isn't real. One of the hardest thing to do in life is to unlearn what we have learned and re-learned through our own uncontaminated senses and self experiment, free from religion and free from social propaganda programming.<br />
<br />
The Truth can be felt in our hearts because we are spirit beings, not this physical shell of ours. We reincarnate in this lifetime to experience All That Is, learn lessons, and share our gifts with the world. Hetero, homosexual, bisexual girls or boys, male lesbians, female gays - all part of this diversity of genetic pool. <br />
<br />
ShineStar if you google "syntribate", most likely you'll find my site as it's very unique in exploring the beauty of the female masturb and what it means to us on higher levels of awareness mentally and spiritually. Syntribate is scientific word for thigh squeeze masturb, typically can be done by women because their clitoris is divinely designed to be in the perfect spot - while men has to deal with a bulge in public which makes it impossible to conceal while women can rock away discreetly, her orgasmic energy recycled over and over, never depleted - in some cases, actually amplified. Women are more sensitive to energies as their ba<x>se chakra is 1 level higher in frequency than men but this is just the bell curve; there are obviously more spiritual men than women but you get the point.<br />
<br />
There is a lot more to this story that I haven't said and there will definitely be a next time. <br />
<br />
Have a wonderful day.

@BunnieBlue<br />
I know how you feel.<br />
Most of my guy friends are extremely confident and I always admire them for it. <br />
I definitely have some male attributes, mostly due to the fact that I was taught to conform in my early years, so I can empathize with men as well. But I am mostly emotional and self-conscious. I think that's what has been keeping me from gaining more respect for myself. I have this idealized version of who I want to be, but I have not accepted that I cannot become that person, because that would just not be me. At least no the entire me.

I am female but wish I at least thought more like a male. I just think they don't sweat the small stuff unless they are conflicted as noted with several in the above writings. I am tall and have very short hair right now but I still look very feminine. I am married but very much a gals gal with many friends. I think one or two may be a little both directed but I am straight. I still think it is a man's world and i do not feel that I use my sex to manipulate people at all. I do cry but I have found that it just confuses my spouse and other men and they can't get away fast enough if I am emotional so I just try to cover up my emotions and I love to wear very dark sunglasses as much as possible when I am out and having one of those days. Today was one and I look like I have been on a 3 day drunk but I just act like nothing is wrong with me. it is easier. So much for being female.Men don't have these issues.

I love your Story , i feel same . I hope one day my wife will exept me as a Lesbian, because i love her too much and only want to stay with she

@getger<br />
You are so right. People are brought on to believe that material possessions or professional successes lead to happiness. They can, but for the few. For the rest of us, relationships, love, and freedom lead to happiness. Men have much less ways to express themselves. Women have a lot more. There's many factors, but the biggest one is clothing.<br />
If only we lived in a world where everyone could do what they wanted as long as they did not harm anyone.

the advantage is to become the hybred manwo because we are not woman...any one on etheir side will learn more of the universe snd themselves by transitioning to a monogomous netrosexual, lesbian....it means you do not have to dominate,and are free to explore their prepondorous with color and fasion...<br />
american men+= conservitave<br />
all woman is ARt in dress and motion<br />
thay can appropriatley wear m ens clothes but we are talk if we paint nails, lipsick, or feminan clothing<br />
<br />
it makes me realizr that at one time we were servants to a Woman society<br />
no war just love and fashion

I completely understand how you feel, its because i feel it too. Deep inside i feel that im a woman, wanting to be beautiful and all, i want to wear womens clothes as well. I even naturally have breasts. Luckily, my face is feminine, although some hair tend to grow at some parts, not severe though. and yes, i hate it. I am only attracted to women, theres no way that I would be attracted to men. This way, I agree that im a lesbian trapped in a man's body. it is NOT a joke! <br />
<br />
Its not that 'ok so youre straight, problem solved.' All i want is to be myself. I cant dress like a woman, nor act like one due to the society's norms about each gender's role and all. Im tired being someone im not. <br />
<br />
Im really lucky because ive found a girl who can understand me, and we're married now. half of the problem solved, but yeah, i want to be myself. It's really something not easy to do. It takes a lot of courage to do that. The society will mock me if I do what I want. They will label me as queer, gay, etc which in fact Im not. We know that people tend to look down to homosexuals.

Thanks MaleLesbian. I hope I do too.<br />
And Angelfalls, that sounds really interesting, so I'll check it out. I'm a sucker for good stories!

ShineStar, you sound like your feelings are very much as mine when I was your age (although sex-changes then were pretty much unheard of, I just knew what was deep inside me). Good luck in your journey and I hope you have much happiness in being yourself.<br />
<br />
Angelfalls. I'm fascinated by your contribution and will try to find your site; I love to hear things from a true lesbian experience and would love to see how I relate to your new character. I'd be very happy if you added me to your circle because I'd love to keep up with your thoughts.<br />
<br />
Sally

I don't take things too seriously. I'm just sharing my feelings. It's not like I hate men, I can have fun with anyone. Currently, I mostly hangout with guys, and it's usually a lot of fun. I'm just sharing what I would love to be, but I know that I can live life as it is now. I always look forward to life, cause you only have one to live. That's why I always say that the meaning of life is too live it. We can only waste our time with trivial matters that don't matter. <br />
I'm just voicing my experience. I want to let people know who I am, so I guess I should just be myself. But knowing that I can't be my TRUE self, I'll just deal with what I have which isn't so bad. Both sexes have their perks, but to me women have the upper hand.

Shinestar, no wonder you hide yourself.<br />
We, on this planet, imperfect beings, are really just US.<br />
Some of us take ourselves a little seriously.<br />
<br />
I believe that it is not what we are in this life, it's what we do:<br />
For one another, for our planet.<br />
<br />
Women, yes, are lovely. But so are we men.<br />
It is only when either of us get our knickers in a twist that we stuff up.<br />
So, lighten up gurl, have some fun, DO GOOD.<br />
<br />
I enjoy this discussion with what I believe is a thoughtful being<br />
I hope you do too.<br />
<br />
Luv<br />
Moddle

To BunnieBlue: Correction, this is a white man's world. I am a minority, so I know how unequal the world is. I don't let this stop me. Sure it's much harder to get what you want, but achieving it is usually worth it. Hard work will get you many places. You just gotta be persistent.<br />
For the most part women have it a lot easier. Men have to ask them out, pay for them, and buy them endless things. Do you know how hard it is to build up the courage to ask someone out only to be publicly humiliated? After that they could stay home or work. Either way, they usually have more influence in the home if they are not manipulated easily. Why do you think that it's mostly women that get alimony?<br />
I am like you. I always put others before myself and I also feel I have too many needs. But I have learned that you can't live this world alone, unless you're void of any feelings, so it's normal to need someone. I need friends who understand me, but most of all I need a girl that I could spend the rest of my life with.<br />
I think women are beautiful. They are softer, warmer, and more graceful. They are in all aspects better than men. Men are much too uncaring, and most are jerks.<br />
Like I said, I will most probably not get a sex change. I do not find the procedure to be as elaborate as I would like. I have learned to make the most of what I have, but if I was given the choice to change it all naturally, I would do it in a heartbeat.

To Moddle: Unless I truly saw you as a woman, then I'd kiss you. If not, then no cause I do only like women.

I am a woman that at times wishes I were a man. I live in such a man's world. Women are not treated fairly and it is so uneven. I am married and a Mom but I just think a man has a better opportunity to just be himself. I like how they think in stream line and I am detail oriented and think female. I think about how other people feel and what they need more than what I want and how I feel. I make a good door mat. I am too needy. I need a man to take care of me and I don't really feel like I will have that when I will need it but I also don't want to feel that way. I don't want to need anybody. I am jealous of their bodies also. I think they are beautiful and you can actually tell when they are turned on. Well whatever. I am a woman and will remain so. My best hope is to stop letting my feelings show through my eyes as much. I cry too. Unless you plan to have a sex change I suggest you enjoy a man's body. There is much about a women,s world that is sad.

Hi, darling.<br />
Would you rather kiss a pretty girl, Or me?<br />
I'm femme, but where do your feelings really lie?<br />
Actually, i wouln't mind kissing YOU !