There is a girl, she is nearly a year younger than me.
I met her several years ago, but I dismissed my feelings purely because she is straight.
Each encounter I have with her is like a dream, I can't push this aside any longer, I can't push this down anymore.
Her family is extremely religious, although she accepting of the gay community, her family isn't. They are Mormon.
I don't know what to do, I would be lying if I said I did.
The only idea I can conjure up that even seems semi-logical would be to just ignore my feelings, at least until I've graduated, which will be in nearly 8 months. Its a difficult ride, I'll admit.
My parents are homophobic beyond imagination and it makes life difficult, it makes my school life a challenge as well.
I cope through reading, studying, filming, photography.
I went today to speak with a teacher, it became too much, and I had to get my emotional buildup off of my chest. I came out to an adult today, and it was extremely difficult for me. They were accepting, but surprised, they helped me and listed to me,
My point is this...
I know I care for this other girl, I know I would do anything to make her smile and I often do... I think of her often and its almost as if blinders were recently removed from my eyes. I was in a rocky manipulative relationship for nearly three years on and off. It wasn't until recently that I finally broke the chains that were pulling beneath the stormy water that my ex had conjured up. I see now... as I watch this girl laugh, as she sits close to me, rain dripping from her hair and her nose and collecting in puddles on the seat beside her, I can't help but adore her.
I will be patient...what happens happens. Life is a crazy ride and I've been through a lot to get where I am... I'm prepared for a few more loops, I've strapped myself in and came to terms with what I will most likely face in the future.
Thank you for reading this far if you have.
Take care.
-J
Caotl Caotl
18-21, F
1 Response Sep 2, 2014

I hope you can seduce her into lesbianism and she falls in love with you.