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My Girlfriend Lied About Her Past

Help - she keeps lying about old stuff - WHAT SHOULD I DO????

Last month when we were in her car, I saw a burned CD that looked like she had made it for someone else, like maybe she made 2 copies, gave one to the woman she was with at the time, and then kept one for herself is what I figured.  She had written on it initials of the person she had been dating, and a heart.  But they are also her own initals (weird coincidence)  so she told me that it was just a bunch of songs she liked to play before going to sleep and she had made it a long time ago.  I dropped it.

But then today I was cleaning and I found a paper with the list of songs on it, exactly in the same order of the CD, and it says the name on it of the woman she gave it to, and also a little bit of writing on the back that said she would always love her.  I was pissed, not because she made a CD for this person, cuz that was before we were together.  No, I'm pissed because she lied about it.  This is a relationship she had last year, and she always tries to make it sound like it was nothing and no big deal, but now I know it was. 

Also there were tons of pictures in the house of this woman, and it bothered me from day one.  2 months ago, i went away for the weekend on business, and she promised when I got back that all those pics would be gone.  And then she called me when I was away and told me she was burning ALL of them.  But I found some, underneath other photos in albums and stuff.  When I confronted her about it, she got all mad and said that she didn't cheat on me so I should calm down.  What should I do?  If she keeps lying, idont think I can trust her...

calpurnia calpurnia 31-35, F 6 Responses May 10, 2010

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I've kept momentos of my past relationships, i think what you are forgetting is that although she may have had feeling for her ex's in the past, she loves you now and that is what should matter the most. As if you have never written on a piece of paper or said aloud that you love a particular person and always will, it's a clieche and it does have some truth to it, i still admire and love particular things that my girldfriends have dont or just the memory of good times ive had with them but i am just as happy and just as in love and crazy with my girlfriend now. so dont stress to much she loves you.

I wouldn't get so mad. That woman was probably her first love. it took me four to five years to get over mine. I don't think she's cheating on you. Someone's first love will always be special, you'll never forget them. They will always have that place in your heart no matter what. You have to learn to accept that and she needs time to completely get over that woman too. It'll take awhile, but maybe she'll completely get over that woman one day.



If you really love her, just be patient, and wait until she looks only at you. Good luck.

I am a memory keeper. When my girlfriend and I began dating, she wanted anything relating to an exgirlfriend destroyed. However, when I look through this stuff, so many memories flood back. Sure, I think of the person who gave me the things, but that is not my main focus. So many more memories (excluding the person) come back that I probably would have forgotten. I cherish my past and never want to forget it. Maybe she's the same way?



I could understand being uncomfortable about the lying.



But you can't let her destroy those objects. She'll just become bitter towards you. If you accept her now, then you have to accept her past...it made her who she is!

Please stop being such an emo about this... of COURSE there are things around the house from her past loves... they are a part of her life! Trying to control her will only poison this relationship!!!

They are just songs and pictures. You cannot expect her to just erase this womans memory from her heart completely. If she hid the pictures and fibbed about the songs, then i think she was trying not to hurt your feelings. She cares about you. relax.

Don't be too possessive, I'd venture to advise.