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Am I Waiting Too Long To Date?

I am a lesbian and have always known that I am. My partner and I ended our relationship about two years ago after being together for eight years. I have only been on a date three or four times in the past two years because I feel like I forgot how to date. My previous relationship ending really broke my heart and I think I am trying to protect that from happening again, and in the meantime missing out on life and happiness. I feel awkward trying to speak with women again. What should I do?  
  
phillyphan78 phillyphan78 31-35, F 11 Responses May 29, 2010

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It does not matter straight or gay whiskeybent, you obviously have feelings and that is what we are talking here...I have since broken out of my shell and am seeing a wonderful woman who I cherish and thank god for on a daily basis !! Thank you for commenting !!

you don't seem to have a problem speaking with me, or is that just because its online? Face to face is hard sometimes. You seem to be doing alright.

Be a friend to people listen to what they have to say. Offer support to other people. That is how I cope with stress I try to help others first.

I'm not even out yet, so I don't have any advice, but I just wanted to give you moral support, so to speak. I don't think there's a set length of time when you should or should not date. It seems like something you would just know in your heart whether it's right or wrong. So, I REALLY hate to sound cliche, but follow your heart.

Hi! I believe that it is really important to have an active social life. It is extremely important to have an active interest in enjoying the things you like to do in an active social setting. <br />
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I crocheted in my early twenties--crafted original designs of my own sweaters. Then I completely stopped. Had some yarn always at the ready that I was "gonna" get back to it with. Much time passed. My life took a long procession through a completely emotionally exhausting phase. When the healing began, I knew I had to resume a social life. I looked at the yarn and found a local knit and crochet group. Within 6th months I won an award for my work. That was almost 4 years ago. The group of women that I met with have been a great big ole nurturing nest o joy for me. And because of my interaction with them--I was able to expand my social circle and my life blossomed wonderfully. <br />
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I'm just suggesting that if you do what you love and add doing it with other people who love the same things you do--giving time and that little thing called life--which happens while you are making other plans--fabulous things could happen for you that you can scarcely imagine right now! Go get 'em!

{{{HUGS}}}<br />
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Why not forget about "dating" and just think about getting to know some new women? Thinking that they are just "friends" might help a lot. Rather than looking at everyone as a potential "date" you cant just think about hooking up with someone for an afternoon at the museum or an evening at the theater.

I dont think youre waiting too long, Give yourself time time time..... and trust in fate. When youre ready - you will know. ;)

@michellel1978 <br />
learn to divert your attention to other things. go out with friends, watch funny movies, shop, date other girls/boys.. learn to be happy.. and be happy.

@michellel1978 <br />
---- try to put your thoughts together. Start thinking about what you want , what makes me happy, think about what u want then talk 2 your partner about it

I can understand you being a little hesitant at first, but it all will come together in time. Since you have been out on a few dates you are still not sure of yourself. Take your time and don't let anyone rush you into anything. When you have not been out there in the flow of things it makes it much harder to feel at ease when you do go out. If you are dating different people maybe trying to get a feel for them before you go out makes things easier. We all have that period where it seems like we are at a standstill, and life is just passing us by. For me when I meet people, I try and use the telephone to get to know them in hopes it will make it easier when we go out. Everyone has their own method, but use the best one that is comfortable for you. I wish you the best in your dating. Take your time and it will become much easier.

I think you're doing well just the way you have been. Don't be too hard on yourself, dating is a hard thing to start doing again especially when you're not quite there yet with yourself and feeling comfortable after a long relationship ends. I don't have any advice for you sorry, I just wanted to let you know I understand how it is to come out of a long term relationship and that I think you're doing great for where you are in your life right now. Being in the same age group I understand too, that feeling of life passing you by all the same, even when your decisions are hard to make. I'm also newly out so I don't know enough to advise you on other women.